The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (6/17/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I just realized a new nightmare scenario – living in a world full of commercials people. Athletes intensely working out and dripping sweat, people unwilling to accept such low! prices!, cars zooming by, eerily happy ethnically diverse groups drinking beer, and the local commercial types shout talking everything at an incredibly fast rate. It’s a subtle nightmare, I know, but it’s a nightmare.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (6/10/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

You want to know something that is not surprising? In Texas, when someone shoots (and sometimes kills) a home invader/crook breaking into the home … The News anchors state this with an almost amused tone.

(The funny/sad part is that if I’d said, say, Vermont, you’d read that and think ‘oh yikes!’ … But with Texas? Eh, seems right.)

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (6/3/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

If I was that green guy I’d always be working on a Rubik’s Cube with my set of tiny arms.

Maybe Chewie has that look of fear/delight because he just saw an efficient Rubik’s Cube solution?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

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