The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (5/6/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I think I would like to be cremated when I die, BUT I would also like a tombstone with an epitaph that says “violently huggable.”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (4/29/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I decided to rate, in order of size, the following words which convey size without specificity:

A few
A lot
Like, a gajliion
A ton
A *#&t ton
a gajillion (the word like, above, decreases that)

Rest easy world, things ought to make sense now!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (4/22/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This postcard makes me think – is it, or is it not a good idea to remake beloved movies scene for scene but recast with people who are squat champions of the universe.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
or @DumbFunnery

P.S. The byline for each one could be “gam on.”

Why am I doing this?