The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘family reunion’

Attn: Ellen (2/15/12)


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This painting is called “Family Reunion.” Who are they staring at? Creepy Uncle Joe? What an unsettling group!

Maybe the artist loved staring contests, and wanted to depict the world’s creepiest one.

I salute you, Bazille, (the artist) – you win this staring contest, despite being dead.


Weekly Wacko (56)

Make Someone Feel Uncomfortable Day 2010

Thanks to my friend Theresa for sharing this link with me about Make Someone Feel Uncomfortable Day 2010. I’m touched that I am associated with creating awkward situations.

Story One: Making Others Uncomfortable

The summer between my 8th and 9th grade years my dad’s side of the family had a HUGE family reunion. A massive amount of Stanleys.

We did all kinds of things but one night we all gathered and sat in this big barn-type room (we were at some very nature-y place in Colorado for the reunion). Everyone was there (minus probably a few old people who had already gone to sleep). We did a few things, and then it came time for …

Family Facts!

Every person in the room would take a turn standing up and telling a little known fact about ‘us Stanleys.’ (If my memory serves correctly – my memory verifier here, aka my mom, was not available.) This whole process was not delightful for me whatsoever. Public speaking. Public speaking at an event where other people were telling jokes and getting laughs. Oh, I had to get a laugh! I just had to!

I remember two facts given. Mine. And my mom’s. My mom’s was funny. Mine …

“A little known fact about [last name] … is that they’re like cockroaches … even if you cut off their head they keep living, and talking …, for weeks.” [Again – I’m not sure exactly about my mom’s joke but I know I was a big fan.] But, if you’re curious – that is a fact about roaches.

Mine: “A little known” (odd licking motion) “fact about us” (again odd licking motion) “is that we’re part snake.”

Yuck. Blech. Gross. My joke TANKED. I would guess that most people just thought I was a weirdo who licked my face a lot, and the confidence-shattering silence across the room probably made me mumble the ‘punch line.’

There you go – I stood up and called my family a bunch of snakes while licking my face excessively. Congratulations to me.

Story Two: Being Uncomfortable because of Someone Else

One time during college the girl I was dating found out that I didn’t really like the word ‘panties.’  [Another friend of mine found the word ‘supple’ to be very uncomfortable, so of course when I found that out everything was described as being ‘supple’ in varying degrees.]

The then-girlfriend found out about the word panties right before we got to the grocery store. My new nickname for that hour was, of course, panties.

“Do you need milk, panties?”
“Hey that cereal is on sale – don’t you like that stuff … panties?”
“Hey panties I’m in this lane checking out! … Panties! … Panties in lane 7. Yes, you, panties!”

The End

There you have it – two uncomfortable situations. They’re both simple enough, harmless to everyone but me (and those hit by my awkward shock-waves). Have a great Make Someone Uncomfortable Day 2010, and a good weekend!

%d bloggers like this: