The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fanmail’

Attn: Ellen (9/5/12)

Front

ellen degeneres

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen degeneres

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

The Sydney Opera House! Neat-o!

It made me wonder, if every city could have some cultural thing House, what would LA have? What about Houston?

Perhaps more importantly, where would you want to live based on such places of beauty?

For me, it’d have to be the Waco Cat Juggling House – imagine!, all the great cat juggling performances!

Sincerely,

DumbFunnery.com

P.S. Sorry, Waco.

Why am I sending these postcards?

Attn: Ellen (8/29/12)

Front

ellen degeneres

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen degeneres

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Even though a surfing koala is pretty well-established international code for “11 day trip to Australia,” I’ll spell it out.

I recently took an 11-day trip to Australia!

Don’t you fret – I’ll be sending you a couple postcards to tell about it. Consider this the cover page for my autobiography via postcards, “Internationally Dumb, and Other Can’t Miss Recipes.” It’s a work in progress.

Sincerely,

DumbFunnery.com

Why am I sending these postcards?

Attn: Ellen (8/22/12)

Front

ellen degeneres star wars

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen degeneres star wars

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

It’s like someone just said, “ham on rye!,” and Princess Leia is thinking “mmm!,” Han is thinking, “with or without mayo?” and Luke – letting his actions speak for him, is thinking, “NOT AGAIN!”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?