The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fun’

Are you an attractive woman home-alone? Here’s how to act!

“Bye husband!”

Oh, it’s so weird being home alone!

I feel like I haven’t been left home alone in the longest time … and not once since we moved to this country estate!

I just love it out here!

All the trees coming up to, practically, our back door.

It’s such a bummer my husband’s flight had to leave at midnight. I don’t know why he wouldn’t let me drive him to the airport.

I feel so … lonely … gosh!

This is so weird.

Maybe if I go put on a tank top and some booty shorts?

No!

I should take a shower first!

Hmm … No, I’ll watch TV.

Oooh!

One of those shows about wanted criminals being on the loose! Did he just say the same very small town that I live in is where – hey! Friends is on too!

Wow!

I’ve never realized how, at night, with all the windows in this family room, and the woods coming all the way up to the back of our house … I’ve never realized you can’t really see the moon!

How depressing!

Whatever!

Did something just move out there?

Why am I still not wearing booty shorts?

That sounded like something scraping at the door?

No – probably just Joey from Friends! He’s so funny!

I should turn the TV on extra loud … I don’t know why … Then go take a shower.

OK!

Volume … UP!

Great!

Did I lock the front door after my dearest husband left?

Hmm … Probably so, no sense in double checking.

It’s so nice living out here in the middle of nowhere! I mean, my husband and I are each in our young twenties and fantastically good looking – me particularly when I wear booty shorts.

Hey ….

Oh my gosh!

Wouldn’t that …

Oh! Yes! I will leave the bathroom door slightly cracked! That will be so exciting! I’ve never done that when I’ve showered before!

OK!

Water’s on …

Nice and hot water – good. Make sure the bathroom window is extra steamy so I won’t be able to see a thing!

There was that scraping noise again at the door!

That Joey!

The water feels so nice!

I feel completely vulnerable now!

How neat!

Category:

Short Short Stories

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100% Irrelevant, 110% Analysis

There’s this little problem
Well it’s not little but slim
I can’t just speak on a whim
Oh now I’m being dim.

But onward!
Outward!
Forward!
Well not forward, I’d hate to be untoward.

My problem is analysis
To the point of, yes, paralysis
The more fruitless
The more endless
With no hope of definitive, conclusive bliss

When she said bye –
Why didn’t she say good bye?
Was it a shot on the sly?
Or am I guess-who-really-needs-a-hobby guy?

Look! What’s that on the horizon?
A problem that could use some serious surmisin’?
Well, isn’t this surprisin’?
I already made the decision – and it can’t be undone.

So I ask you, please make my decisions life or death,
Or I’ll just think them to death.

***

I do nerd-engineering stuff so I’ve heard the phrase ‘analysis-paralysis’ a number of times. But I met someone who hadn’t heard that phrase, so in case you haven’t, I just made you that much dorkier.

Also, I really do over-think things I don’t need to quite a bit, so I’m going to hit this topic again for a poem and next time try to make it good.

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

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Samuel L. Jackson Home Security Network

 

DANG IT! The sound quality stinks for Sammy L! Turn it up I guess … listen close for the quotes. I may try and re-do this because it’s a really dumb video, but I like it.

 

Have a good weekend folkses!

Category:

Radio Star Killer

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