The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘haiku’

May 2018 Haiku

May 1 (Tuesday)
Hectic day today
Wife cancels most of her work
Tending to sick babe

May 2 (Wednesday)
No daycare today
Love the cuddles, hate the woes
But! Getting better!

May 3 (Thursday)
Partial daycare day
I went for early pickup
His smile warms my heart

May 4 (Friday)
Is it my birthday?
No. Did I buy myself stuff?
Duh. It’s Star Wars day.

May 5 (Saturday)
Friend is visiting
Kid takes it in, thinks to self,
‘Folks … NO SLEEP FOR YOU!’

May 6 (Sunday)
Cough’s one month birthday
I love you cough … Is that weird?
(It’s Stockholm Syndrome)

May 7 (Monday)
Went to a clinic
Come on drugs, work your magic!
RID ME OF THIS COLD!

May 8 (Tuesday)
Would I like tea more
If I didn’t just drink it
When my throat feels off?

May 9 (Wednesday)
A Hugh Grant haiku
‘Well, er, ah … Ahem’ (smiles)
‘This is rather … Ah …’

May 10 (Thursday)
Alarm clock function:
Most useless thing on my phone
Thanks dear son of mine

May 11 (Friday)
Comically bad luck
Just about done with chest cough
Then injure myself

May 12 (Saturday)
Lazy dad scramble!
Stores full of dad’s just staring
Hope gifts talk: ‘pick me!’

May 13 (Sunday)
Happy Mother’s Day!
Just relax hard-working moms!
… … … Babe? … … What do I do?

May 14 (Monday)
The kiddo babbled!!!
It was for like … two seconds
But still! I’ll count it!

May 15 (Tuesday)
Been thinking a lot
Fancy pants is way too vague
Need well-defined pants

May 16 (Wednesday)
Sudden trip up north
Wife’s grandma’s not doing well
Going to say goodbye

May 17 (Thursday)
Kiddo’s helping out
Big, innocent eyes of kid
Help to lift spirits

May 18 (Friday)
Wife’s grandma gone now
Tears, memories, and snacking
Day spent at Grandma’s

May 19 (Saturday)
Flying home today
Kid napped on me one hour
Brings me joy (and aches)

May 20 (Sunday)
Wife and kid both sick
And my mom is coming by
To see babe, catch cold

May 21 (Monday)
Kiddo doubled down
Said, ‘why one ear infection …
‘when you can have two!?!’

May 22 (Tuesday)
“The world’s worst dentist”
My son’s tiny, strong hands try
To rip off my jaw

May 23 (Wednesday)
When life gives lemons
See if you can exchange them
I mean, gross, they’re bruised

May 24 (Thursday)
Holy crawl-moly!
Kiddo is really moving!
… We need to vacuum

May 25 (Friday)
Work has been all tests
Click here, try that, click there … Borrrrred.
I’m so sick of tests

May 26 (Saturday)
Long weekend: day 1
Long to do list and big dreams
… Accomplish little

May 27 (Sunday)
Long weekend: day 2
Here are all the things to do
Some other weekend

May 28 (Monday)
Lost in the charcoal
Is today’s somber purpose.
Humble thanks offered.

May 29 (Tuesday)
Daily ritual:
Kiddo does something; heart melts;
Re-forms with more love

May 30 (Wednesday)
Daycare drop off fun
It’s a short drive there, and yet …
Kid poops half the time

May 31 (Thursday)
Intern campus tour
Time to establish my creep vibe:
‘Hi youths, be my friend’

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

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April 2018 Daily Haiku

April 1 (Sunday)
April Fool’s … Easter
Talk about your low-hanging
Fruits of blaspheming

April 2 (Monday)
It’s cliche Monday
So keep your head in the game
You old so and so

April 3 (Tuesday)
First day of daycare
And dad’s just too tough to cry
(He says shakily)

April 4 (Wednesday)
Home with Mom today!
Catching up on important
Goochie goochie goooos!

April 5 (Thursday)
Day two of daycare
Calm today, I glance around
Yep, my kid’s cutest

April 6 (Friday)
Day for the records
Wife and I took turns yacking
And watching kiddo

April 7 (Saturday)
Ate a banana!
Kiddo is likely thinking
“Mom and dad are … off.”

April 8 (Sunday)
Stomach bug is gone!
Taking it’s place: a sore throat
(Looks to sky): “DAYCAAAAAAARE!”

April 9 (Monday)
If salmon were pals
Could never complain to them
They’d be like, “sounds … tough”

April 10 (Tuesday)
My mutating cold
First sore throat, then stuffed up nose
What next, dear thrill ride?!

April 11 (Wednesday)
With tax day soon here
Really makes you stop and think:
I wish I was rich

April 12 (Thursday)
Kid napped at daycare!
Hooray for not coming home
Utterly wiped out

April 13 (Friday)
Do some work, blow nose
Stifle cough, do some more work
Again! From the top!!

April 14 (Saturday)
Nostril pendulum
Swings from left nostril to right
Oh fickle breathing

April 15 (Sunday)
Sleep strategy talk
We have our new plan all in place!
And … Huh! … He slept great

April 16 (Monday)
Dearly beloved,
We gather to celebrate
Weekends. Gone … too soon.

April 17 (Tuesday)
Occasional stops
To appreciate the love
You have in your life

April 18 (Wednesday)
Tasty soup for lunch
And ‘how do we have nothing!?’
Brand soup for dinner

April 19 (Thursday)
Dear Cough That Won’t Die,
… Please die? Pretty please? … With hate,
My angry body

April 20 (Friday)
Texas friend in town
And Colorado showed off
By snowing tonight

April 21 (Saturday)
Kiddo wants to crawl
Anxiously gets to hands, knees
…promptly frustrated

April 22 (Sunday)
Mom, pal do sushi
Dad and son stay home to hone
Vital squawking skills

April 23 (Monday)
Caught in testing hell
The fix was easy and fast
But the test? Brutal.

April 24 (Tuesday)
“Friday already?!”
(Dangerous delusion games
Let’s watch! And judge him.)

April 25 (Wednesday)
Shows having writing drop
No longer good, just ‘zany’
… That’s the US now

April 26 (Thursday)
Watched Thor: Ragnarok
Can we have a movie of
Just Korg hanging out?

April 27 (Friday)
Wife and kid came by
Joined for walk with my work team
Team cuteness way up

April 28 (Saturday)
Hike with the kiddo!
Look at that bird! Those flowers!
Oh. I see. Nap town.

April 29 (Sunday)
Sick kiddo today
Hate his fever and sad self
Love the cuddles though

April 30 (Monday)
104 fever
Huge fan of having kid’s doc
Ten minutes away

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

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March 2018 Haiku

March 1 (Thursday)
Hour long car ride
Nice to wander aimlessly
While the kiddo naps

March 2 (Friday)
Questions seem simple
Until you work with someone
Who is bad at them

March 3 (Saturday)
“Put on whatever”
I pick a fantastic film
“Action movie?!?” (….Duh.)

March 4 (Sunday)
I remember when
Sundays didn’t make me think
Of politicians

March 5 (Monday)
Skipping work out class
To keep working on my code
Yeah, it’s clear I’m cool

March 6 (Tuesday)
Costco with the kid
Tons to look at, lunch to go
For dad’s long nap drive

March 7 (Wednesday)
Rushed to finish code
Then it didn’t make the build
Great googly moogly

March 8 (Thursday)
Trip to library
Lady: “what a cute baby!”
‘scuse, you meant cutest

March 9 (Friday)
Wife got promoted!
Calls for flowers and ice cream!
(Ice cream’s always key)

March 10 (Saturday)
Early morning jog
I feel like I’m the Tin Man
Without his oil

March 11 (Sunday)
Daylight savings time
First time ever I’m for it
Kid now wakes at 6!

March 12 (Monday)
Last bit of wife’s jog
Head outside with the kiddo
Workout ends with grins

March 13 (Tuesday)
Came up with insult
Tell someone they’re a Tuesday
Means nothing, sounds harsh

March 14 (Wednesday)
Bunch of colleagues canned
Go from sad to my old pal …
Hi gallows humor

March 15 (Thursday)
It’s March Madness time
Which sounds like 20s slang for
Aunt Flo visiting

March 16 (Friday)
Is it just me, or
You, too, call guys named Gary
Gare-Bear? (Not out loud)

March 17 (Saturday)
Wild St. Pat’s day
Bought some clothes that were on sale
… And … That’s about it

March 18 (Sunday)
Vacuuming barefoot
One of life’s simple pleasures
Warn, clean (ish) carpet

March 19 (Monday)
No matter the guest
Arrive, greet the cute baby,
Then, to me, ‘oh, hey’

March 20 (Tuesday)
My mom is in town
To watch the kid, and bring gifts
And I got one, too!

March 21 (Wednesday)
Cheated sleep system
Kid woke at 5, rocked to sleep
Cute, snuggly cheating

March 22 (Thursday)
Coworker comes in
Someone discussing her code
Defense mode – ENGAGE!

March 23 (Friday)
My mom left today
She came, saw, and babysat
Then on to next gig

March 24 (Saturday)
The boy found his feet
Both limber, and frustrated
Review’s in: Tastes gross

March 25 (Sunday)
Kids first tooth coming!
An excited mom declares
Let pokes, prods increase

March 26 (Monday)
Wife’s mom is in town
Is my son also a sun?
With doting planets?

March 27 (Tuesday)
Opting out today
Asked for no updates on kid
Prepping for daycare

March 28 (Wednesday)
Reading Handmaid’s Tale
Nothing better than feeling
Depressed before bed

March 29 (Thursday)
Grandpa flying in
Grandparent’s ‘who gets more laughs’
Competition starts

March 30 (Friday)
Got a new backpack
Bulky and insane looking …
But I’m pumped for hikes!

March 31 (Saturday)
Bye to grandparents
Back to a quiet household
(Well, plus squawking kid)

 

IMG_20180331_134627442

Hello awkward ride. Hopefully this weekend I’ll take it for a real test drive.

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

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