The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Houston’

Mistaken Identity

Recently my mom sent me an email via a website called Tidbits. It was a very nice thought. The email has a number of good restaurants to try in the Houston area. I will definitely be trying a few of them.

My mom is weird and sweet in this way (this is what I call a “countdown comment” – because after I publish this post it’s a countdown til my mom says, “so Brad, I read your blog today …”). This is sweet because my mom is looking out for me, giving me tips on fun things to do. This is weird because she lives in Arizona and keeps tabs on Houston because I live here.

Unfortunately, Tidbits is catered to women. Or, as the website called me in the email, it is catered to the “gal about town.”

What’s the natural follow-up? Automatic subscription to a Tidbits, with the next email titled, “Put your best stiletto forward.”

I’m not just any gal about town, I’m a leggy gal about town.

But wait, there’s more. From some random run I did in the past I get emails from Runner’s World magazine. Kind of annoying, kind of nice. One day I got an unexpected email from them:

“Run like a girl!”

In the email it talked about concerns women have when running that men don’t have (sports bras, Aunt Flo, and menopause). Not only does the magazine think I’m a woman, it thinks I’m an older woman.

Frankly, this old gal can’t wait for the email telling me that the Deluxe Designing Women DVD Box Set is on sale.

Grown Up Storytime Reading

Right before Thanksgiving a story I submitted to a once a month event in Houston called “Grown-up Storytime” was read. It’s the story of when I was selected to be a judge at a “Spoken Word” type poetry competition.

I didn’t know the guy who read it, but he was pretty funny.

Also, Grown-up Storytime is pretty neat. If you didn’t want to click on the link above – basically anyone can submit a story and if it’s picked they have one of their readers (I think anyone can apply to be one of those too) reads it.

Attn: Ellen (11/28/12)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Houston Texas

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Let’s say some “friend” of mine said, “hey I’d love to come visit you!” And let’s say I’m not overly fond of this person, to the point where I use air quotes about our “friendship.”

Have no fear!

I send this postcard and say, “It’s not as fabulous as this postcard lets on, but I can’t wait to show you around the city!”

Fabulous Houston, Texas indeed!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?