The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘postcard’

Attn: Ellen (10/22/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

When I was in the 8th grade my mom, my sister and I visited a college for my sister to see if she’d like it. A guy at the college said to my mom, “oh is your son here to see the college?” to which my mom replied, “no, my daughter.” This caused the guy to give me a long, hard look. Thankfully my sister then came out of the bathroom so the guy’s questions were answered.

This weekend is my bachelor party. My brother and sister are my co-best man. My goal for the bachelor trip is to convince as many people as possible that my sister is a guy.

Wish me luck!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (10/8/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I never knew it until this moment, but camels look like the creation of someone who is really bad at photoshop.

“Hey dude, do, like, a horse combined with Skeletor … Oh! And give him two giant tumors … Just cuz.”

What, evolution leading to that makes more sense?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (10/1/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

You know how people stick both their arms out wide to signify wanting a hug? Do you think football players are secretly signaling for a one-armed hug but we mistakenly believe they are doing the “first down” hand motion?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

Tagged with: