The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘hug’

Attn: Ellen (12/2/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I think if I was a quarterback in the NFL before hiking the ball I would yell for an audible if necessary, but I would also yell, “run toward me if you need a hug, hug city right here, hug city, hug city, set … HIKE!”

And then after the play I’d say to the defensive guys, “boy you guys really wanted hugs, huh?” and I bet, looking deep into the eyes of the middle line backer, I would be able to see he both wanted to tackle me AND wanted a hug.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (10/1/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

You know how people stick both their arms out wide to signify wanting a hug? Do you think football players are secretly signaling for a one-armed hug but we mistakenly believe they are doing the “first down” hand motion?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (8/13/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Is it just me, or does this statue of Lincoln have the exact same expression as my dad has when I ask him in a sing-song voice, “who wants a hug?”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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