The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘postcard’

Attn: Ellen (9/24/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

There are very few things that inspire as much irrational, crazy thinking for me as killing a spider. As I go to fetch my shoe I picture a cliche karate scene where young spiders swear vengeance for their master.

Then again, prove me wrong, science!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (9/17/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I bet if human-eating giants from another planet came to Earth and ate people on giant hot dog buns there would be a moment of comfort because a giant hot dog would probably be pretty comfy.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (9/10/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

If there was an actual Texas pan with the panhandle as the actual pan handle what would its signature dish be?

Trick question!

The pan would have your Texas state concealed handgun license (CHL) engraved on it.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?