The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘rap’

Attn: Ellen (8/22/18)

Front

 

Ellen362a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen362b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Let’s say you are a rap artist. And you have all your music ideas and lyrics on one computer. Do you call it your laptop? And if yes, does that mean all your songs stink?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

Attn: Ellen (9/3/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I’m struggling today because I want us to work on a rap collaboration project but I can’t just say that … But then my only idea is to combine the words to form the portmanteau co-rap-oration … But that sounds like corporation which sounds like a portmanteau for a crappy corporation.

I don’t know – maybe get back to me and we pre-collaborate.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Weekly Wacko (66)

Cat-Rap

Something that happens a lot more often than I’d like is having a joke fall flat. This could be because people didn’t hear me (I can sometimes mumble), the joke was not right for the audience (know your audience) or, let’s be honest, because the joke stunk (no comment).

My sophomore year of high school I hung out with my neighbor Ryan a lot. Ryan had a CD of “The Hot Boys.” For a while he was big on playing this CD when we’d drive to Media Play and Krispy Kreme (just your typical Friday night). One of the songs had the following lyrics, “ah-whatcha need boy? [I need a hot girl] ah-whatcha want boy? [I want a hot girl].” The song is called, aptly enough, “I Need a Hot Girl.” It’s on YouTube, you can check out the video for its great lighting … right, great lighting.

One day, my mom and I were the only people at the house. The cat and dog were also around.

The cat meowed.

“Whatcha need, girl?”

Meow.

“Whatcha want, girl?”

In almost perfect synch with the song, my mom had basically duplicated one of The Hot Boys hits, except instead of meowing you’d say “I want a hot girl”/”I need a hot girl.”

Realizing this, I sang loudly, “she wants a hot girrrllll.”

My mom didn’t laugh, but I think my cat and I were at least on the same page, so we laughed about it lots.

***

Go to about 55 seconds in for the brilliant chorus.

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