The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘rich’

You Can’t Buy Happiness

I’m sitting in my room alone
So alone,
With my as-yet unreleased to the public smart phone.

I’m sitting on my couch alone
So alone,
Deciding which game to play of the many video games that I own.

I’m sitting in my bed so-so alone
So alone,
In my king-size bed with bazillion count sheets that were hand-sewn.

I’m sitting in my kitchen, you guessed it, alone
So alone,
I’m full of lobster and that cake is tempting me but first I’ll eat that scone.

I’m sitting in my luxury car so very alone
So alone,
With my foot on the pedal (tickets are chump change) I’m speeding through this low-speed-limit zone.

I’m sitting in, what room is this, have I been in here before?, alone
So alone,
This mansion was maybe too big for me – the fourteen bedroom villa I should’ve been shown.

I’m sitting in my yacht theoretically alone
So alone,
Minus the crew, and the chef, and the masseuses, my loneliness makes me groan.

Well I’m listening to someone with way more money than me say ‘you can’t buy happiness,’ and I feel alone
So alone,
Because yes, I can’t buy happiness, but at least you can try you marone.

Weekly Wacko (58)

When we lived in Alaska every year a kid was selected from the school and had a story in the local newspaper written about him or her. When I was in 2nd grade I was chosen.

I love this article because it makes me seem totally insane, and like a miser. The quotes from me are amazing. You’d think I was 100% crazy. Also a miser.

Hope you enjoy it.

Two things –

1) The t-shirt I’m wearing is a bunch of bugs scattering, but while scattering they are also coincidentally spelling the phrase, “Bug Off.”

2) I still want to own a house boat and a camper. Riches, where are ye?!