The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘san antonio zoo’

Almost Too Much Awesome to Contain?

I noticed Michael Ian Black’s very bizarre twitter background (@michaelianblack) and I thought … I needs me one of those.

SO on this very fine day with clearly too much free time I attacked this project.

This past weekend I went to San Antonio (where the birds are feisty). The girlfriend unit and I were hanging out and she went to take a picture of me, and at the same time someone came up behind me – so I was looking in his direction.

We also went to the zoo and I took some pictures of a jaguar. Why a jaguar? Because they’re really awesome. In fact, many people have said I am quite like a jaguar (pssst that statement is a lie, see here). Anyhow – rad jaguar picture:

Then I thought, what about a background? Here we have a lovely picture I took when my mom and I drove to the Grand Canyon:

So what do we get? Check it out @haikustanley … or just look below:

Thank goodness for Fridays – or crap like this wouldn’t exist.

Animal Facts! (Lory, Nubian Ibex, Fossa, Butterfly…ish)


Make spinach and artichoke dip whenever ‘Braveheart’ is on. They call it, ‘Spinach and Brave-Heartichoke dip.’

Ha ha ha ha ha. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?? HA!

Legs that go for … hours. Zing!

Oh my GOD! I totally just remembered he went out with Becky in fifth grade!

Owe thousands in back taxes.

Bonus Fact!: CRAPPED ON ME!

Nubian Ibex

Is simply maaaaahvelous!

Deliberately says “tapas” in a fuzzy way so you can’t tell if he said tapas or topless.

If he was a book, he’d be in the “Clearance Sale” section.

Wears a t-shirt that says, “Weather is here, wish you were beautiful” at least once a week.

Gets off at 5 today, and then … who knows! (Probably a nap.)


Love to play on the word ‘bro.’ Like before going out you’ll likely hear, ‘and away we bro!’ If they get a pep talk, instead of a simple ‘thanks’ it’ll be, ‘dude, you’re my wonder bro.’ Get it? Like a wonder bra. But it’s bro.

“In mine country, mine papa … he would catch the fish! And in mine country! Mine brother, the second one! He would …” (Ugh. Coolest accent. Worst storyteller.)

Loves pistachios almost as much as he hates minorities.

God’s gift to gab.

When he eats chocolate he says “GOD-iva!” He says the ‘God’ part like he’s in the throws of passion. It’d be funny but he’s never actually eaten Godiva chocolate.


Own a cowboy hat with glitter on it.

Lies like a Swedish politician.

Sweats. A lot. It’s adorable. If you’re into sweat.

Uses the word boob as a noun, adjective and verb.

Knows things, maaaaan.

Bonus Fact!: I was trying to take a picture of a butterfly in the butterfly exhibit when this lady’s leg got in the way.

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