The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘twitter’

Follow Me on Twitter!

Recently I got a fancy pants smart phone. You know what that means, right? Updating the world on all my glorious happenings and thoughts whenever I please.

Why not join the 57 other geniuses of the world and follow me on Twitter?

In the past few days here are some lovely little pictures I’ve tweeted …

“Ohhh sexism. Check the awesome text in the top right corner.”

“Rhinos have it all figured out”

“Caramel surprise? That’s not off putting at all. “

“Yup”

Almost Too Much Awesome to Contain?

I noticed Michael Ian Black’s very bizarre twitter background (@michaelianblack) and I thought … I needs me one of those.

SO on this very fine day with clearly too much free time I attacked this project.

This past weekend I went to San Antonio (where the birds are feisty). The girlfriend unit and I were hanging out and she went to take a picture of me, and at the same time someone came up behind me – so I was looking in his direction.

We also went to the zoo and I took some pictures of a jaguar. Why a jaguar? Because they’re really awesome. In fact, many people have said I am quite like a jaguar (pssst that statement is a lie, see here). Anyhow – rad jaguar picture:

Then I thought, what about a background? Here we have a lovely picture I took when my mom and I drove to the Grand Canyon:

So what do we get? Check it out @haikustanley … or just look below:

Thank goodness for Fridays – or crap like this wouldn’t exist.

omgIMpreggars : Tweets from a Pregnant Fourteen Year Old

10 am: ugh! moms so pissed. taking me to hospital to see if im prgnant. fingers crossed its no!!!!!

10:47 am: shhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiitttttttttt.

10:49 am: mom said having a baby is worse than the time i got 14 stitches!!!!

10:57 am: omg! mom is so pissed! im sorry ok i thought he was on birth control!

11:14 am: apparently men cant be on birth control??? what were all those pills he took? whatev.

11:37 am: mom stated to take me back to school and i said erf that! im pregnant and have morning sickness or whatever.

11:39 am: lol! erf! i meant ef!!! lol!!

12:01 pm: just ate a ton! being preggars has its upside? 🙂

12:27 pm: i dont wanna be fat 😦 😦 😦 my bf will totally braeak up w me 😦 😦

12:32 pm: bf tweeted he luvs me!!!

12:34 pm: hahaha lol! my bf is such a perv! told me all the free sex we want for 9 mos

12:39 pm: wait … u cant get pregntn for lik another 3 months after birth too? right?

1:12 pm: ill have to get all new clothes … torn feeling sabout this 😦 and 🙂 lol!

1:37 pm: moms still so angry 😦

2:12 pm: shit mom get over it!!!!

3:07 pm: mom threatened to take my phone! wtf!!! its how i express myself!

3:09 pm: first amendment mom! heard of it?!!?!

3:14 pm: i can sue for indepndence from my parents right? i declare mself emancipted!!

3:17 pm: lol! my bf told me emancipated sounds like constipated! lol!

4:10 pm: shit am i ready to be a mom? what do u guys think?

4: 13 pm: be real w me pls …

4:47 pm: im havng this baby! weather you want iot or not!

4:49 pm: when you have ur period iur a woamn! ok!? like in china girls have babeis at 10!!

4:51 pm: f them doubters! lol!

5:37 pm: i feel fat 😦

6:27 pm: mom said no mcdonalds for dinnr!!! 😦 😦 😦

6:30 pm: jst bc im pregnant and weigh less than u mom doesnt mean u shuld be jealous

6:55 pm: oh no oh no oh no dads home! …

6:56 pm: bust out my ninja skillz! lol shhhh lol

7:15 pm: i saw my dad cry for like the firts time evr in his life … cryng right now 2 u guys … i guess things are goig to be diffrnet

7:24 pm: rude. mom calld me “unfit parent” wtf mom

7:27 pm: whats unfit is that shirt moms wearing LOL!!!!

7:49 pm: why do we evn have trigonmtry? its pointless

8:24 pm: than god for tivo! 🙂

8:37 pm: wow my baby will never have to wtch commrcials ever! what an easy life!

9:12 pm: im about to give birth to my lunch lol! cafetria food sucks!

9:47 pm: from my bf: “curfews are as gay as oprah and that chick shes gay with” LOL! luv it! luv you! 🙂

10:14 pm: ive been jokng around a lot today but im really scared. i dont know if i can handle this 😦 im so young its scary guys …

10:30 pm: south parks on ) 🙂 🙂 🙂

10:32 pm: tomrrow ill haev been pregnant 2 days. weird. night all. kep me in ur prayer.s