The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘weird’

Attn: Ellen (5/25/16)

Front

Ellen262a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen262b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Have people given serious thought to the idea that God exists? And second of all, that God is out of His/Her gourd on drugs? Just look at nature. “Ohhh dude … grab the red paint and like, just, the whole necks in red … woah, harsh, add some black racing stripes. Oh super rad. Ok now like, make it look like grass is growing on their bellies. Sick! OK, now …”

It’s just funny given how colorless some church are when natures seems like a celebration of variety, vibrance, color.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Update on the Home Front

With the wife being out of town, the normal routine has been disturbed. But no matter, I can roll with the flow look few can. Here, let me share some updates!

  • I live three doors down from a cop. I have been loitering outside by his car touching his car. So far nothing has come of this. But that’s probably for the best, because I’ve yet to establish a joke to go along with this setup.
  • Given: your wife has a couple plants she is desperately trying to get to the point where they are full-fledged grown-up plants and Given: your wife has named these plants names like “Carlos” and “Grumpus” … How annoyed will you be when you stage fake picture pictures of a murder-suicide using Carlos and Grumpus? Answer forthcoming.
  • Recently a neighbor kid came by the kitchen window in the backyard and scared the crap out of me. With the house to myself I have taken to rolling my shorts up so that it looks like a diaper (it’s simple to do with running shorts, just pull up on the sides and tuck them in). Come on by neighbor kid, let’s see who’s scared now.
  • Did you know cartoons are still enjoyable? Did you know working, then coming home and watching four hours of cartoons until it’s time for bed three days in a row is less enjoyable? Because I’M WELL AWARE.

Wish the wife luck folks, she gets back soon.

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Du Jour of the Week

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A Room of One’s Own

There’s a website out there that is worth a visit. The website is of course … http://catalogliving.net/

What is it? It’s genius, that’s what it is.

My wife and I got a Pottery Barn catalog in the mail and I thought, “hey, I’ll do like those folks at catalog living!” … Turns out it’s difficult. But hey, here it is anyhow.

photo 1

This is the sitting area, where you can read, and see the boy who crossed us so we trapped him in the picture frame.

photo 2

You call that a pan flute, THIS is a pan flute.

photo 3

Two of these baskets are labeled ‘gym,’ but Darlene knows which one actually has our stuff for murder.

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Pictures

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