The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘weird’

Xenophobic, AND Fun!

You know what’s kind of xenophobic, but also kind of fun? I’ll tell you!

Go to Google Translate (a great tool) and type a phrase in your native language, then in the other box pick a language to translate it to.

As you type the translation will show up, and for the majority of languages a little icon will appear that says out loud your phrase in the other language. What fun!

Now, here’s where the xenophobia comes into play.

Type a simple phrase like, “I have a doctorate in giving hugs.”

Then play the phrase in another language. Then another language. Then ANOTHER language! Why? To see which language makes things sound like threats!

You could even mix it up with a James Bond-type phrase, “So we meet again. This time, I assure you, the pleasure will be all mine.”

And, for good measure, go for something weird, “The dinosaurs are here, and they look hungry. Where’s grandma?”

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NASA Rave

You know how it goes with the internet. You open a web browser to search for something important, for example, “who is the black dude in Predator that’s not Carl Weathers” (it’s Bill Duke).

Then, from there, logically, you wonder what sort of invisibility cloaks actually exist in real life.

Finally, through this and that and a weird side-trip to visit the grumpy cat (I’m crazy for this cat – she makes me happy) … and then … what do you know? You discover that NASA is plotting a giant outer-space based rave.

They’ve got these SATELLITES, MANNNNN, and they’re gonna, like, project these giants strobe lights and it’ll be like woaaaaaaah and everyone will not be able to stop themselves from like DANCING or something mannnnn.

No, really, it looks like a funny outer space dance party. See?

NASA Rave

Does NASA also have vans scattered throughout the globe with giant speakers and a Diplo track at the ready?

In reality, the satellites are there to observe the weather – in particular, tropical cyclones. Click on the picture to read more about the satellites. And, while you read about them, dance, dance, dance!

P.S. The satellites are known as the ‘A-Train’ … come on, clearly dance-inspired.

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Dentists and Proctologists, the Dramady

Remember way back on Friday? My last post? If not, check it out, it’s pretty brainy stuff.

I mentioned the idea of a TV show. Now, feast your eyes on this potential award-winning, gripping dialogue.

Dentist (smarmy): Hey, can I ass you a question?
Proctologist (pained): Oh God, yes, I guess.
Dentist: What made you want to become a proctologist? Did you have a dog, and you thought, ‘wow, this dog is great – I want to be just like him!’ You know … shoving your nose in –
Proctologist (bored): I get the joke. Thanks for FILLING me in unnecessarily.
Dentist: Oh ha. Oh ha. Ha.
Proctologist: I guess if you had your way a hygienist would hear all my bad jokes, and you’d come in for 30 seconds and say, “yeah, ok, jokes were told, looks good.”
Dentist: Really? A ‘your hygienist does all the work’ joke? But wait … I guess you’re into shitty jokes.
Proctologist: Hey what’s the difference between a proctologist and a dentist?
Dentist: All right, I’ll bite … what?
Proctologist: Proctologists are straight A students … Dentists are average C students … so that’s why you do Canals and I do –
Dentist: Wow.
Proctologist: I just came up with that!
Dentist: I can tell.
Proctologist: All right. Good lunch. See you next week, Ted!
Dentist: All right, Larry. Say hi to the wife and kids!

 

Didn’t see THAT coming, HUH!? They’re friends, but also enemies. They can’t help respect how clever the other one is in all of their banter. You’d learn more about the back-story of how this came to be on the show, I can’t give EVERYTHING away!

Also, yes, that last joke is a bit much and I was really reaching but … it’s a Monday. What good is a Monday without a joke that makes you feel a little pained?

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