Hey Fig Newtons
Hey Fig Newtons … you still exist? I honestly don’t know, and I think it’s because you’re not nearly topical or EXTREME enough in your advertisements.
Let me help you out.
Ad 1
Air Donald Trump’s infamous Mexicans/rapists line
Fade to black
Air a modern day Nazi rally
Fade to black
White text on black screen: ‘Racism is alive and well in America’
Fade to black
Show a Fig Newton with friendly text underneath, ‘Try a Fig Newton!’
Ad 2
We see an armed child walking toward a school, an NRA spokesperson cheers wildly, suddenly an oversized Fig Newton falls from the sky and crushes both of them.
Fade to black
White text on black screen: ‘Problems?’
Show a Fig Newton with friendly text underneath, ‘JUST FIG NEWTON THEM!’
Ad 3
Show a starving polar bear, dying
Show the upward trend of global temperatures over the last few years
Show a puppy, just to confuse people
Then a shot of the most recent Houston flooding
White text on black screen: ‘Your grandkid’s grandkid’s are doomed’
Show a Fig Newton with friendly text underneath, ‘No one’s ever overdosed on Fig’
Source: Wikipedia (my old friend)
DumbFunnery 