The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘weird’

Birthday Card/Sympathy Card/Congratulations on the New Baby Card

Do you have a friend with a birthday coming up? Or need to express sympathy? Or have a friend with a new kiddo? Not sure what to get your friend? How about start with a nice card – and I’ve designed just the card for you.

Front:

Inside:

For birthdays – this card has led to a hug in 7 out of every 8 cases.

For sympathy – cathartic tears were cried 127% of the time (nearby people also began crying upon seeing this card, resulting in a percent of criers exceeding 100%).

For the new baby – it is not yet known what the effects of this card are, but go for it and let us know how it works.

Note: please DO NOT give this card as a congratulations on graduating gift. In 90% of test cases the recent graduate, upon receiving this card, became a carny. The weight-guessing kind of carny.

Oh, THERE’S Waldo

This past weekend I went to a minor league hockey game, with the Houston Aeros playing the Binghamton Senators for the Calder’s Cup (let’s go Aeros!).

Not too long after I sat down, none other than Waldo walked by.

That’s fun, right? Dressing up like Waldo at a crowded event? Pretty funny and clever I think.

What really cracked me up though was a little phone conversation Waldo had. He pulled out his phone, called someone, and,

“Hey! … Yeah look up … Look behind you …” That’s when Waldo stood up, waving his cane a bit, “Can you see me?”

Are you serious!? Waldo was, without a trace of humor, and without telling his friend, starting a real-life Where’s Waldo! And no one around was cracking up at this!

(Not the Wizard, not the girl version of Waldo, not Odlaw, not the dog … not even Waldo’s old nemesis Odlaw. I couldn’t resist this joke, sorry.)

The guy probably came as Waldo to reach one goal – the jumbotron …

I have a new goal in life, and it is to get a few friends together, dress up in the various Waldo character costumes, and go hang out together. Head to a bar, maybe a sporting event. For any geek who spent too much time looking at Where’s Waldo books it’d be like a dream come true – they will have finally found all of them, and they won’t have to deal with the feeling of having just wasted time for no reason.

[I’ll also add that Waldo drank a lot, and got pretty aggressive with his yelling … which also makes me laugh, to think that maybe Waldo was hiding not from you, but from the police. He had probably just committed aggravated assault.]

My Zombie Roomy (5/24/11)

Well, it’s been an interesting last few days with the Zombie. I don’t know where he learned this, but he’s started doing the ‘wink, wink, nudge, nudge’ thing to me.

At first, it was hysterical. I cracked up a ton and I figured he kept doing it randomly because it was getting such a reaction from me.

I was wrong. It turns out he just does it randomly. You would think this would be comedy gold, but it’s not. I think he’s picked up maybe a third of the objects in my house and done the wink/nudge thing with them. I have no idea what you’re implying Zombie and neither do they, because they’re inanimate.

Oh wait … I maybe take it back. He just picked up a Lego man that is a gorilla and did that and I find this strangely hysterical.

(Don’t get the wink wink, nudge nudge? Check out this excellent guide.)