The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘hockey’

Attn: Ellen (5/17/17)

Front

Ellen309a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen309b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I don’t know much about hockey, but I do like watching it.

With the playoffs going, I like to watch and make up fake slang to impress my wife.

“Oh yah, well he leaked the net real nice, basically re-doing the whole upholstery and all he’s got to show for it is a horse-sized vitamin, ya know?”

Neat, huh?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (5/4/16)

Front

Ellen260a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen260b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

It’s playoff hockey time! The time of year when the people ask: can someone be shy a few teeth, have a beard that birds live in, and look like someone who could spend a few hours staring at foil because it’s shiny … AND be attractive?

And somehow the answer is always yes.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Oh, THERE’S Waldo

This past weekend I went to a minor league hockey game, with the Houston Aeros playing the Binghamton Senators for the Calder’s Cup (let’s go Aeros!).

Not too long after I sat down, none other than Waldo walked by.

That’s fun, right? Dressing up like Waldo at a crowded event? Pretty funny and clever I think.

What really cracked me up though was a little phone conversation Waldo had. He pulled out his phone, called someone, and,

“Hey! … Yeah look up … Look behind you …” That’s when Waldo stood up, waving his cane a bit, “Can you see me?”

Are you serious!? Waldo was, without a trace of humor, and without telling his friend, starting a real-life Where’s Waldo! And no one around was cracking up at this!

(Not the Wizard, not the girl version of Waldo, not Odlaw, not the dog … not even Waldo’s old nemesis Odlaw. I couldn’t resist this joke, sorry.)

The guy probably came as Waldo to reach one goal – the jumbotron …

I have a new goal in life, and it is to get a few friends together, dress up in the various Waldo character costumes, and go hang out together. Head to a bar, maybe a sporting event. For any geek who spent too much time looking at Where’s Waldo books it’d be like a dream come true – they will have finally found all of them, and they won’t have to deal with the feeling of having just wasted time for no reason.

[I’ll also add that Waldo drank a lot, and got pretty aggressive with his yelling … which also makes me laugh, to think that maybe Waldo was hiding not from you, but from the police. He had probably just committed aggravated assault.]

De Jour of the Week (11/30/10)

Why do hockey fights start? It’s a rough game and those guys know it going in. But sometimes they can’t hold back – they can’t help but throw off the gloves and knock some teeth out (if available to be knocked out).

But always there’s the tipping point – from, “aw well coach said don’t get in a fight,” to “let’s do this.”

Hockey Fight Tipping Points!

“Mud-blood.”

 

“I heard taxation without representation was YOUR fault!!”

 

“Bruce Willis is dead the whole movie!”

 

“If a biopic is a biographical film wouldn’t it make sense for a myopic to be an autobiographical film?”

 

“STOP TALKING! … Don’t you know I hate knock-knock jokes!?!”

%d bloggers like this: