The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘zombie’

My Zombie Roomy (9/27/10)

I didn’t want to write about this because, frankly, it’s embarrassing for both the Zombie and me. If it had just been embarrassing for him you can be sure I would’ve written about it pronto.

When I moved in to my apparent I was very excited about several things, one of these was the washer and dryer INSIDE my apartment! This was a big step up from my studio apartment in California. I thought dreamer-type thoughts, ‘I’ll wash my sheets every day!’ ‘My towels will be constantly fresh out of the dryer!’ ‘Never again will I need to do the sniff-test on a t-shirt!’

I have fallen short of these ideals.

Thus, it is with great shame that I report to you that the Zombie had crawled inside the dryer and gotten himself trapped and I didn’t discover him for nine days because I am a total slob.

I don’t really have a guess as to why the Zombie decided to cram himself into the dryer. A lot of alone time, a weird sense of humor, and being undead really lead you to make some odd decisions I guess.

On the plus side I have discovered that the Zombie eats two things: humans and dryer sheets. At first I was annoyed because those things don’t grow on trees, but man his breath has vastly improved.

We’re going to watch some of The Office now – he finds Jim attractive in a humor- and zombie-way.

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My Zombie Roomy

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My Zombie Roomy (9/9/10)

I’m probably over-reacting and this actually isn’t a big deal at all but the Zombie’s been missing for a few days. Four to be exact. He’s disappeared other times for two days at a time, and the first time I got really nervous and worried and actually debated posting about it but then I thought, ‘nah that’s silly, don’t get in a fuss.’

But man, where are you Zombie?

I guess part of my writing this is also the old bus stop mentality. You know, as soon as you start walking away from the bus stop because you decide it’s never going to show up – that’s when it shows up. So I’m admitting that yes, I miss the Zombie, and all this in an effort to bring him back.

How embarrassing for my normally macho self (wait …).

Anyhow. If you see a zombie out walking around with a winning personality, and a sort of sheepish look on his face, and this shuffling gait … Oh!, and that goes by the name Zombie … Let me know. Please.

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My Zombie Roomy

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My Zombie Roomy (8/16/10)

Friday is my birthday, but I’ll be heading home to see my family on Thursday night – so the Zombie decided to throw me a birthday celebration today.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a zombie birthday party – but I wouldn’t recommend it. Well, that’s unfair – maybe it’s just my roommate that is really weird. But, apparently, the Zombie thinks the crème de la crème of parties is a 6th grade school dance.

My apartment had six balloons, bad music, and a math teacher (who looked like he was frightened for his life) standing in the corner of my kitchen. As soon as I walked in my apartment I knew it was a 6th grade dance – because I was suddenly very sure I’d never kiss a girl, and I remembered that Miss Whitehead is a big dumb lame-head.

It was incredibly weird. The only good part was when I approached the Zombie to thank him for the party, the math teacher said (out of habit I guess), “balloon-width apart, please.”

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My Zombie Roomy

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