The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘worry’

Weekly Wacko (55)

(Note: This is really not that interesting, but the ‘weekly wacko’ section serves as a diary for me and I wanted to write out how I felt about this. Also, I wrote this 11/9/10.)

Hello Again, Feelings …

Today was a fairly big day for me. Since I love telling stories I of course can’t just tell what. I have to tell why.

Last week I came back from my trip to Florida and worked on Friday. I saw that my boss had his door open so I swung by to tell him that since NASA had not launched the shuttle, I needed the Lego Shuttle set to comfort my wounded heart and spirit.

“Ohh! Yeah, I’m surprised I haven’t bought that yet.”

My boss is cool.

He didn’t say he would buy the Lego set for his kid – he’d be buying it for himself. He then pulled up the Lego website and complained that they misrepresented the size of the shuttle. We tried to figure out how big it would be, and decided that it’d be cool, but even cooler if it was 5 feet tall.

After that he asked me to sit down. I am a worrier and a pessimist so this made me nervous. I asked if I should close the door and he said yes. Yikes.

I came to Houston on a one-year contract: January to January. At some point I began working on another project outside the one I was hired into. This project was(/is?) slated to be finished in March so I approached my boss (actually I talked to 3 bosses about this – gooo corporate!) and asked about the idea of extending my contract until March. I got a thumbs up. This was a few weeks ago.

On Friday, I was sitting there and the first question from my boss was, “how do you like working here? Be honest.”

Double yikes.

I told him I enjoyed it, but lately the changing scope of the work (the economy and I are enemies) had sucked the enjoyment out. Currently the feeling is: “you can do that, it doesn’t matter anyway because this project might be trashed, so sure … go do that.”

He told me my name had come up for a new project that is just getting underway. It’s an intense one, it’ll be a big challenge, you know, that old bag of tricks. Nevertheless, it’s exciting and was a boost to my ego to be wanted for this team (though it’ll be a huge team so not that big a boost).

He told me to think the idea over during the weekend. I thought, and talked with my folks, and thought some more. My gut feeling was yes please and Occam’s razor told me go for it – but I felt like there should be some down-sides I was missing.

On Monday I met with another boss who talked with me about it some more. When I said, “this sounds like it’ll be very challenging work,” he laughed at me. An, “oh you poor, ignorant fool,” laugh. My bosses are piloting me across the river Styx.

Today I met with boss number 1 (Lego boss – who informed me that boss number two is a karate whiz and probably sits around thinking of ways to break people’s necks. Again, Lego boss is awesome). Lego boss was being pushed to get an answer from me and I … said yes.

Yikes!

The project may fail, it has a nebulous shape at best, it’ll be very challenging and this worries me because I don’t want to look dumb. But my desire to not look stupid does not outweigh my desire to be a part of this. I emailed my sister and told her that the two downsides to my accepting this offer are: fear of not being good enough/fear of the unknown, and not getting to move to a cooler place or closer to home. Sorry Houston, don’t mean to hate on you.

My sister had a very nice response which was: “Duuuuuude that is so awesome. take a moment to be positive before you start bashing yourself.”

This is my being positive. Congratulations, self. Don’t blow it.

My Zombie Roomy (9/9/10)

I’m probably over-reacting and this actually isn’t a big deal at all but the Zombie’s been missing for a few days. Four to be exact. He’s disappeared other times for two days at a time, and the first time I got really nervous and worried and actually debated posting about it but then I thought, ‘nah that’s silly, don’t get in a fuss.’

But man, where are you Zombie?

I guess part of my writing this is also the old bus stop mentality. You know, as soon as you start walking away from the bus stop because you decide it’s never going to show up – that’s when it shows up. So I’m admitting that yes, I miss the Zombie, and all this in an effort to bring him back.

How embarrassing for my normally macho self (wait …).

Anyhow. If you see a zombie out walking around with a winning personality, and a sort of sheepish look on his face, and this shuffling gait … Oh!, and that goes by the name Zombie … Let me know. Please.

My Zombie Roomy (7/30/10)

Every once and a while I go through a phase where I watch a bunch of stand-up comic videos on youtube and then I think about the idea of becoming a stand-up comic myself.

Me a stand-up comic! You betcha!

Like just now I already came up with another joke. Stand-up comic. Stand-up guy. I could do a whole routine on the boy scouts! (Work in progress.)

Anyway I’ve perhaps illustrated my point with the above ‘joke.’ I am a terrible comedian. Like, really awful. I thought I was bad, but I figured I couldn’t be that bad. So I tried some jokes out on the Zombie and I think he wants to kill me now? Not even like eat my brains – like killing me for practical reasons. He just really hated my act.

This is troublesome.

I wonder if there’s an emoticon to express worry over soon becoming the undead?

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