The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘zombie’

My Zombie Roomy (2/27/10)

The zombie brought me a sneaker today. Just one.

I looked at him and I said, “thanks …” and I left a big pause there. A pregnant pause, as they say. I figured maybe he’d explain it, or maybe he had the matching sneaker behind his back or something.

I asked my sister about it and she told me that some people are just bad at giving gifts. She’s right. I dated a girl for a while that was a terrible gift-giver. But one sneaker? That’s the king of bad gifts.

Anyway. I know this is an odd stereotype … but I feel like gay zombies would be great gift-givers, so maybe I misread all that ‘gay’ stuff.

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My Zombie Roomy (2/22/10)

2/22/10
Ok … I’m not going to say anything either way, I’ll let you decide.

Last night I was sleeping and then I had a feeling something weird was happening, so I woke up and the zombie was in my room (usually he stands on the patio and stares at the rail, or he goes out). He was standing there with this like ‘hungry’ look or something.

So I got all freaked out and I yelled at him and he just stood there, staring at me all weird. I realized he was mumbling “brains” over and over.

Seriously. How creepy is that?

How do you let an overbearing gay freeloading zombie roommate know you’re not interested?

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My Zombie Roomy (2/15/10)

2/15/10
I never thought I’d spend my Valentine’s day with a zombie. But I did.

And you know what, it was weird.

I’m curious if I have a gay, freeloading zombie roommate. I mean, I’m fine with gay people, but I was getting some weird vibes from the zombie last night, so this is kind of worrying me.

I may be crazy, that’s entirely possible – but I swear there were little things that kept happening. Like, the zombie was sitting in the middle of the couch. You don’t do that. You sit on one side. And then I turned on the TV and you know what movie was playing? The Breakfast Club.

That seemed more zombie-gay yesterday. Maybe I’m being irrational. All right, my brain is just fried from a long day of work I guess. I’m going to watch some TV and eat some cookies. I’m going out of town, to New Orleans with two friends … I think the time apart from the zombie may be a good thing.

I’ll be in New Orleans with Kate and Barbara.

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