Sometimes crime happens. And a criminals worst nightmare might by a little poetry. Memorize these, they could save you some grief.
I
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If I put down my gun
So should you
II
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
No, because summer never stole my favorite shoes.
Please give them back.
III
Sweet as a cookie,
Sharp as a tack.
My car was not bought
To experience carjack.
IV
O captain, my captain
Where is my watch?
Seriously … who took my watch.
V
The devil dances
And dines
And devours
The unwary travelers of life
You’re not the devil
But you come close with that knife
VI
What is life?
What is the purpose for all of this strife?
Who are we?
Please, anonymous hacker, un-steal my identity?
DumbFunnery 
Comments on: "How to Deal with Criminals – Poetry Style" (3)
I have to agree with Tim on this one. The summer’s day one is gold.
The summer’s day one is by far my favorite. All of them are good, but that one really got me laughing. Awesome post.
Thank you kindly! I like to say stupid things after starting with that lovely line from Mr. Shakespeare.