The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Archive for March, 2013

The Changing Genetic Landscape, and Its Impact On You

The world is changing quickly these days – with fast-paced technology induced changes being one of the most obvious. But another change is the genetic make up of the world. Interracial marriages are on the rise, according to a USA Today article.

How does that impact you? If you don’t think different races should mix, it makes you angry. If you love this sort of thing, or have a personal relationship with an interracial marriage, it probably makes you happy. The thinking might be that having this be more common will make it more accepted, and if it’s more accepted interracial marriages won’t get looks, and children of these situations will not have to hear narrow-minded comments.

For the average person, the rise of interracial marriages probably means nothing for you. Right? Wrong. There is a devious, underhanded process in the makings, my friends.

Inter-Racially Based Stereotype Product Placements

Will black and white cookies suddenly sky rocket in sales as siblings with tacky senses of humor buy them as baby shower gifts?

Prepare yourself for God awful movies like Madea Wong Goes to Court. Is Madea Wong a lawyer, or being convicted? Maybe both, based on stereotypes.

How about Tobasco-infused cheese for your average half black, half white kid?

What’s that on that Anquan Juarez’s menu? Burritos with watermelon in them? He’s so crazy.

 

Take note, friends!, the changing commercial landscape will be hitting you soon!

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Woah! Unexpected Commercial News!

I just learned something CRAZY … but, you know, it kind of makes sense.

Apparently 97% of commercials featuring a weirdly, over-the-top-happy family (you know, the kind where you think, ‘really product? This is ridiculously obvious’) … Well, apparently … Those aren’t actors. In fact, the people don’t even know they’re being filmed.

It’s just old home movies from random Mormon families.

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Top Annoying Habits in a Workplace Bathroom

The top five worst things that can happen when you’re in the bathroom, etiquette-wise. I won’t get in to all the crazy potential catastrophes. I’ll also leave out the lack of hand washing (because I’ve already covered that).

My buddy Juicebox and I were talking about our least favorite occurrences at the work bathroom as a consequence of working with some people who are, frankly, weird.

1 – Walking up to the bathroom the same time as someone who is a chatter. Then you have to pretend to get a call, or go stare at the vending machine that is just past the bathroom, pretending you are considering getting something (I have done this many times).

2 – Being at a urinal next to a guy who does the “ahhhhh” like he’s advertising for Coca Cola and he just took the world’s tastiest sip. Gross, dude. You’re peeing, get over it.

3 – Being anywhere at all in the bathroom when a guy in a stall (or anywhere, but particularly if he’s in a stall) answers the phone. Then I feel like a weirdo because all I want to do is make gross noises  as loud as possible. I guess the person on the other line is aware that the call receiver is in the bathroom … but if not, I just got that dude in trouble, and I’m proud of that.

4 – This one is maybe not as common an annoyance, but it sure drives me nuts. People taking excessive paper towels. Wash your hands, shake them off a bunch, and then you only need one paper towel. Come on! When I see a tiny dude taking a bunch, I want to say, “come on guy, let’s be real, you’ve got tiny hands.”

5 – Hearing someone turning document pages (you can hear the difference between a newspaper, magazine, and printed out papers). Who are you? Where are you taking these papers? Please tell me you’re going to throw them away!

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