The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Archive for August, 2014

Weather Safety

Many of you know the phrase, “When thunder roars, go indoors.” For those of you who don’t know the phrase, it is meant to be easily remembered and remind you to be safe when a thunderstorm is heading your way.

What you may not know is that the NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) in combination with a conference for TV meteorologists were so inspired by the success of “When thunder roars, go indoors” that they came up with a new list of phrases to remind people that it is definitely better to be safe than sorry when it comes to the powerful forces of nature.

 

If you see a tornado, you’d better a-go-go.

You don’t have carte blanche when there could be an avalanche.

If you notice hail, local dealerships will soon have a sale.

Don’t be insane, respect the hurricane.

Is that lightning? That sh** is frightening.

 

Are you safer now having read these informative quips? As any number of important government officials at NOAA would say, ‘Don’t be a dip, let me know what you think of the quip.’

Attn: Ellen (8/20/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Waking up today for the first time as a 30-year old! I thought “AHHHHH!,” then, “there’s no real difference” then I took a bite of cereal as a 30-year old! and thought “AHHHHH!,” then, “don’t be silly really I’m one day older,” then when I grabbed my keys to go to work I resolved myself because I knew I’d be hearing cheesy jokes about being an old man all day.

And by resolved myself I mean I debated calling in sick.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Music Monday