The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Archive for August, 2014

2014 SMU Football

Well, well, well friends – football is back. And with it, my well-informed and well-biased opinion of how SMU will do this year.

In 2011 I predicted 8-4 but instead SMU went 7-5. One game off? What a pro, am I right?

2012 you’d think I would have improved but nope, predicted 8-4 but in reality SMU went 6-6. I don’t think that’s my fault though, that sounds more like SMU should’ve just won 2 games more.

2013 I recovered well … but it didn’t warm the heart because I predicted 5-7 and was dead on.

Last year was SMU’s first year in a new conference, the American Athletic Conference (formerly known as the Big East). The expectations for SMU were low and 5-7 might actually be considered a success by some (though it’s hard to look at a losing season and see it as good). This year SMU should come in a little bit better, but they’re missing last year’s starting QB.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted last year’s QB is gone. Oh boy am I ever glad. But will the next guy be better? Eh.

Without further ado …

8/31    at Baylor    Loss

9/6    at North Texas    Win

9/20    vs Texas A&M    Loss

9/27    vs TCU    Win (on a whim and a prayer)

10/4    at East Carolina    Win

10/18    vs Cincinnati    Loss (apparently they’re going to be the hot shots)

10/25    vs Memphis    Win

11/8    at Tulsa    Win

11/15    vs USF (Homecoming)    Win

11/22    at UCF    Loss

11/28    vs Houston    Loss

12/6    at Connecticut    Win

 

Total Record: 7-5

Honestly I have no idea how they’re going to do. But in the past that hasn’t stopped me from making predictions …

On that high note, here’s to football!

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Attn: Ellen (8/27/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I’m pretty sure this postcard is supposed to be for people who like western ladies but … what? Does the framed photo on the cactus mean this is her home? In that case is she poor or a squatter? If she’s poor is the horse stolen or does she have terrible money management?

Please chime in Ellen and/or Arizona.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Tough Interview Question

I read that one way to have someone prove their ability to communicate difficult concepts in an easy to understand manner is to ask a question like, “how would you explain a website that is http versus a website that is https to your grandmother.”

First, you may have to familiarize yourself with the technical intricacies of the difference because wait … what does http even stand for? I mean I know s is secure or … like … security but … How does the internet work!?

Anywho, I thought of a question I would ask if I was conducting an interview of someone who I didn’t like because I felt he or she was too cocky: “How would you explain how babies are conceived to your grandmother?” Then when the person insists that their grandma knows or that the question has no relevance for being a clerk at a grocery store I would simply state, “If you want the job,” then I would pause for dramatic effect, “then explain to me, as though I am your grandmother, where babies come from. I went to a Catholic high school so … don’t mind me taking copious notes.”

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Du Jour of the Week

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