The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Archive for the ‘Attn: Ellen’ Category

Attn: Ellen (2/25/15)

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Ellen DeGeneres

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

We’re back! Where were we? And what do I mean by we? Are you assuming I have gone crazy? (An assumption backed by my writing on slanted lines?) Do I now only talk in the form of questions? All these questions, and more, will be answered in the coming weeks when I share highlights of my wife and I’s (that’s the we) trip (honeymoon) to India! (That’s the where.)

So get excited, Ellen, ol’ buddy, ol’ pal!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (2/4/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Now that I am a married man I have big fish to fry. For example, convincing my wife that home birth is the way to go. And then, if it seems like I might convince her, beginning construction of a ship made out of Pyrex kitchen stuff. Why? So our kids can be born on a Pyrex ship!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (1/21/15)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

In preparation for moving into my fiancé’s apartment (the wedding is Saturday!) I have been moving things to her place and had furniture donated.

My place looks like it was robbed by a book loving, summer clothes wearing, poster fan who didn’t like my couch or TV.

And for that, I thank you, imaginary criminal.

Wish me luck with this whole marriage thing, eh?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

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