The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘awkward silence’

Quotes of the Day!

“Go drink your hatorade and eat your hater tots.”
– The fellas from work and me …

Here’s the challenge. What other foods can you smoothly combine the word hate with? The best we came up with (J came up with this) was “hate and bake” (or “shake and hate” if you prefer). Seriously – what foods work (given the comment history, I’m guessing I’ll at least get a reply from Mr. Non-Review?)

“I know he is. He’s a great man posing as a great man. That’s what’s so fantastic about him. It’s like Charlie Chaplin impersonating Charlie Chaplin. ”

– W. Somerset Maugham, Up at the Villa (the kind of quote only an English dude would have)

Have a good weekend everybody!!!

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Quotes of the Day!

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My Zombie Roomy (8/5/10)

Ok things got crazy last night and the Zombie confronted me and he seemed so crazed and … man I was scared. So I did what I do best. I rambled endlessly and eventually we hit a common ground.

The Zombie and I are going to launch some new, extremely niche market emoticons!!

Here are our ideas so far:

hamster with a gas problem
turtle who can’t believe he was just diagnosed with gonorrhea
old man who CAN believe it’s not butter
apron with an attitude
poofy jacket worn by Alicia Keys, but with Barbra Streisand’s face
toothbrush with an attitude
paint shaker with an attitude
(we really loved the ‘with an attitude’ thing)
meatball sandwich that just got a love letter
a tiger shark who is totally baiting the hook to try and get a compliment

 

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My Zombie Roomy

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De Jour of the Week (8/4/10)

I saw the headline to get you to click on this CNN video, and the headline was “If a shark Attacks, hit it here.” And yes, I’m pretty sure they had the A capitalized on attacks. No idea why. Anyhow – it inspired this poem.

If a Shark Attacks, Hit it Here

(by Jaws’ cousin, Todd)

The news comes on every day
With the same basic message said in a different way:
Death, struggle, triumphs and tribulations
Caused by taxes, toil, emotional and physical ammunitions.

BUT!
For the short summertime we sharks are in a rut
It’s “shark attack” this and “beach advisory” that
You’ve got this blame-game down pat!

The world continues with its usual woes and wails
But the ‘exclusive-interview-with-the-survivor’ ship sets its sails
A story called ‘In case of shark attack, hit it here’?!?!
But the hit has already been delivered, my dear.

You think I’m all instincts, not intellectually smart –
But I’ve also got a tender, feeling heart –
So the next time you hear, “man fends of shark!”
HARK!
That’s slander!
Please don’t insult me by taking a gander.

Now if you’ll excuse me,
Above me I see
A very slow, long-limbed seal
And he’ll make a delicious meal
(But wait – do seals have long limbs?
Ah well!, like cousin J said, “it’s bound to be delicious if it swims!”)

Oh yeah and I’ve got a Facebook page now called … ready for it?! … “Get Brad Stanley Published.” Join up!!

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Du Jour of the Week

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