The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘birthday’

Happy Birthday to … Mom

October is a big birthday month in my family. I decided to do a little post for some of the birthday boys and girls I know.

After college graduation I moved to California. I kept in touch with my then ex-girlfriend. We had broken up because of the move, so we were in a weird ‘what is this’ state.

I’ll get to the mom element of this, I promise, it’ll just take a second.

One day  [I’m skipping the sob story version of this] things between the ex and I ended. Wah wah wah. They ended in a way I hadn’t expected. I was in the library parking lot, about to go in the library to check emails and hang out (it’s a really nice library).

After getting off the phone with my ex (who I had yelled at a bit – sorry about that …) I decided to call my sister to say, “well, [ex] and I won’t be talking any more.” I got a hold of E$, who said, “hey!” then I said, “hey” … and then, ruh roh, a bag full of emotions came pouring out of me.

I made some sort of animal being tortured noise, she guessed, “is it [ex]?” and I replied, “gotta go.”

I ended up talking to my ex one or two more times that day (ending on a way too civil weird note), and my sister. The next day I talked to my mom briefly, who happened to be out shopping with my sister the day before when I’d called.

The reason for this story is the line my mom said to me. We talked for a bit about this and that and then she said,

“We don’t have to talk about [ex] but I just want you to know if I ever see her I will murder her with an axe.”

Fantastic, right? I liked that not only was my mom looking out for me, but she was looking out for me with a very specific (and gruesome) weapon of choice.

Happy bday to my warrior mom!

Category:

Weekly Wacko

Tagged with:

Happy Birthday to … Dad

October is a big birthday month in my family. I decided to do a little post for some of the birthday boys and girls I know.

I remember my dad telling this story – and I may not have it 100% right, but the gist will be right.

My dad went to the United States Military Academy and I don’t recall any of the correct acronyms for the positions he said. Whoops. There was a fella (not the correct title) who was a fancy pants (correct title) who was above my dad. I got the impression my dad was not a terribly big fan of this guy.

Nevertheless, my dad survived West Point and began his military career.

Years later my dad was at an event and this higher ranking officer was there.

When my dad went to shake the man’s hand the man said, “I remember you, a smartass with potential.”

My dad, naturally, replied, “nice to see you too, sir.”

Happy bday to the guy who gave me my smartass gene!

Category:

Weekly Wacko

Tagged with:

Young Single Guy with a Cat

Recently I had my birthday (my year in review video). I am now a 27 year old single, straight guy.

And for about 2.4 seconds I considered getting a cat.

Here’s what happened in those 2.4 seconds:

How others would see me:

  • Oh, I guess he’s stopped trying to date?
  • “Your roommate? … Oh you were kidding. Your ‘roommate’ is a cat … Sure, that’s a good joke. I’ve gotta go now. Forever.”
  • Somebody needs a hug.

Possible Cat Names:

  • Shiny von Stinkface
  • Meowser
  • Gisele Jolie Bieber (I would tell countless cat stories, and those names along with the word ‘cat’ would lead to waaay more hits for my blog)

Weird Frame-Worthy Pictures of My Cat and Me:

  • The cat with a New York Times propped against her, and me playing with a ball of yarn.
  • Have a friend throw the cat at my face – with the picture taken just before my face is scratched off.
  • The cat on a chair, me behind it (like your classic boring couple photo). Talk about fantastically creepy.

Also while looking for weird links for this check THIS OUT. Who knew plenty of fish had a message board, but what a brilliant post! “Do guys with cats stay single forever?” How lovely.

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

Tagged with: