The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Du Jour of the Week’

Monopoly Pieces

I have a Monopoly app on my phone which is great for plane rides. This past time I played I got beat by the computer which was being controlled by AI. Here’s what I noticed, some Monopoly pieces work better than others for beating you.

For example, if I say with anger, “stupid dog!,” that is a phrase that makes sense. “Freaking car!!” also works.

“Gah, stupid wheelbarrow!” … Still works but it doesn’t flow as naturally to me. Maybe if I spent more time with wheelbarrows it would work better.

“Oh COME ON, battle ship!” is certainly something I don’t tend to say. Also, “oh you little a-hole, top hat,” isn’t something I say but maybe if I was a hipster I might have more top hat woes.

Thimble, iron … Other pieces … You guys get the gist.

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Du Jour of the Week

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California Regrets

I am, for the first time, an uncle to a teenager. And I regret to inform you all that I didn’t take advantage of this.

Why didn’t I ask annoying, lame, creepy uncle questions? Why didn’t I try to high five her randomly and then pause to say, “wait, is high fiving still popular? Do kids still do that?I saw kids bumping fists on TV, does that have anything to do with sexting?”

The key to being a creepy, lame, weird uncle is knowing just enough to really get things wrong. You need to know at least enough pop culture to be able to reference things incorrectly.

“Hey I like your hat! Talk about Gangnam Style!”

How could that not have caused a look of pain? WHY didn’t I seize this opportunity!?

It also helps to know some of the latest music, so that you can incorrectly identify whatever is on the radio at some public place like a mall or theme park.

“Woah, I like this Kesha tune! She really knows Trouble am I right? Say did you see the YouTube video with her and the goat? That was funny. Hardly a Teenage Dream if you ask me!”

I urge you, uncles and aunts and parents of the world, be lame. It’s funny.

If you can't tell, I switched her face with a Lego head. Her look conveyed a bit more disgust/amusement ... But I couldn't find a Lego head that conveyed that.

If you can’t tell, I switched her face with a Lego head. Her look conveyed a bit more disgust/amusement … But I couldn’t find a Lego head that conveyed that.

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Back From California

Hello blogosphere, I am back! Here are a few reflections having returned from the great state of heavenly weather …

  • When I graduated from college I got a job in northern California and I had no idea how good I had it. The weather, San Francisco, the fresh fruits! Oh past self, I envy you your strawberries.
  • A relaxing vacation of doing nothing is a bit tough to have when surrounded by six nephews and nieces.
  • One day, I would NOT like to have six children. That is an easy realization.
  • Going for a long relaxing walk on a pier is enjoyable. Seeing that a fisherman caught a 5 or so foot long shark at the end of the pier is cool (sharks are neat to look at). Going into the ocean the next day and trying to calculate the distance between you and where the shark was caught is a bad frame of mind to be in.
  • Watching a baby try a lime for the first time is pretty entertaining.
  • Staring at a different baby covered in sand is mind-boggling. How are you so comfortable? I would be miserable … Wait are you EATING SAND? Oh gosh!, no!, gross!, EW!
  • Legoland and the San Diego Zoo are magical places, assuming you can afford the admission cost.

 

Good job California! Keep up the good work!

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