The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Attn: Ellen (8/20/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Waking up today for the first time as a 30-year old! I thought “AHHHHH!,” then, “there’s no real difference” then I took a bite of cereal as a 30-year old! and thought “AHHHHH!,” then, “don’t be silly really I’m one day older,” then when I grabbed my keys to go to work I resolved myself because I knew I’d be hearing cheesy jokes about being an old man all day.

And by resolved myself I mean I debated calling in sick.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (8/13/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Is it just me, or does this statue of Lincoln have the exact same expression as my dad has when I ask him in a sing-song voice, “who wants a hug?”

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Join Me in Boycotting Neutrogena

Neutrogena is a criminally offensive and awful organization and I insist that everyone join me in boycotting them. It’s one thing to be awful, but to be awful so publicly and with a smile on your face is not forgivable. Honestly, it sickens me. I can’t stop hearing some fresh-faced innocent looking young woman saying that phrase, “cleans up your poors.” Really?!? Just because they’re poor doesn’t mean they aren’t people!

Join me everyone! Join me in boycotting Neutrogena!

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