The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Let There Be ART!

Our new daycare routine involves picking up our son’s ‘art’ at the end of the week. I apologize, kiddo, for calling it ‘art’ and not art. Who am I to know? Who am I to judge?

I’ll give you a sample.

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There. Judge me for calling it ‘art’ but I will tell you that this was him drawing a penguin. So … you know.

BUT! Wait!

You bring up the fact that babies brains work sort of like they’re on LSD (it’s pretty nuts!). Ok, sure, good point. You cite this article and you mention how, apparently, when you’re on LSD or a baby the brain works differently. Normally the ‘brain works on independent networks performing separate functions such as vision, movement and hearing, under LSD the separateness of these networks breaks down, leading to a more unified system.’

Ok, ok. Fine. Maybe my son is actually a great artist and babies see penguins in a way us average joes won’t. Maybe this is a perfect rendering of an LSD penguin. I really couldn’t tell you.

But you know what. Yeah. Sure. I’ve come around to your side. Why not? My son’s a genius artist. That is EXACTLY what an LSD penguin looks like.

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Du Jour of the Week

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German Language Committee Meeting

Person 1: Hello, welcome, we will now begin the German Language Committee Meeting.

Person 2: Suggest removal of the chairperson, who wasted time stating the obvious.

Rest of Committee, in unison: Agreed.

Person 1: Respectfully, I agree. I will run this meeting and henceforth not show up. Today’s first word is bagel, which is currently ‘bagel’ in the German language. We want to make this ‘more German.’ Please write down your ideas.

(Committee members write furiously.)

Person 1: Please announce your ideas.

Rest of Committee, in unison: Brotmitlochinmitte! (Which translates literally to, ‘bread with hole in middle.’)

Person 1: Adopted. The next word is cat, which is currently ‘katze’ in German. This has been deemed ‘too weak.’ Please write down your ideas.

(Committee members write furiously.)

Person 1: Please announce your ideas.

administration architecture berlin building

Photo by Ingo Joseph on Pexels.com

Committee Member A: My word is kleinerschwacherhund. (Which translates literally to, ‘small weak dog.’)

Committee Member B: My word is einsamepersonhaustier. (Which translates literally to, ‘lonely person pet.’)

Committee Member C: My word is andereshaushaustier. (Which translates literally to, ‘other house pet.’)

Person 1: I propose hundaberohnearbeitoderzuneigung. (Which translates literally to, ‘dog but without the work or affection.)

Person 2: This will be tabled as there is not currently a logical solution.

Person 1: The final word for today’s meeting is one that we have been asked to make less German. The word is ‘Rechtsschutzversicherungsgesellschaften’ and it means insurance companies providing legal protection. Please write down your ideas.

(Committee members write furiously.)

Rest of Committee, in unison: Bedeckedeinenarsch! (Which translates literally to, ‘cover your ass.’)

Person 1: The meeting has concluded.

Source … sorta …

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

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Attn: Ellen (1/16/19)

Front

ellen382a

 

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

ellen382b

 

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I’m a simple person. It makes me happy to think that somewhere there is a person with an accent that makes it so when they say ‘bruise’ it sounds like ‘Brugge.’

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

 

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Attn: Ellen

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