The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Are Doctors Too Well Respected in America?

I hate to be the one to say this – but I think we’re giving a little too much kudos to doctors these days. Look at all of the controversy around health care. Who is a primary player in all of this? Gee, I don’t know, maybe DOCTORS?

Look, doctors are useful, I am not saying they’re not. But I just think we should take a step back and examine just how high of a pedestal we have placed them on.

For example, the other day I was driving to a secluded area to go for a jog and I must have driven by at least half a dozen streets named after doctors. How insane is that!? America, what are we doing to ourselves?

First there was Circle Doctor Street. That’s fine, I guess. I mean, who was this Circle Doctor? Or was it a person who was a doctor of circles? If so, what’s that mean? If it instead was or is someone’s last name, what country are you even from?

Then I was driving past Saint James Doctor. Then Callaway Doctor.

That’s another thing, when we name roads after doctors, why do we reverse their names? Shouldn’t it be Doctor Circle? Doctor Saint James? Doctor Callaway? (And really, Doctor Saint James? Someone named their child Saint? Come on, people, that’s a tough name to live up to.)

Look at this, another overly praised Doctor. Boyden, pft, I bet you’re not that good.

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Attn: Ellen (12/11/13)

Front

Ellen148a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 Ellen148b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

How have I yet to eat at a restaurant called Super Gyros?

Perhaps more importantly, would ‘The Aquaman’ be only a summer sandwich or year-round dish? Either way, it’s probably not popular.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Running Thoughts, part 2

If you’re blind is every date you go on a blind date?

If Listerine went into the weapons industry, it would be incredibly terrifying. 99.9% of enemies taken down so far.

What did you write about for NaNoWriMo?
I wrote a tragicomedy called “An Unexpected Visitor.” It’s a 50,000 word novel about pooping your pants.

If I owned a store I would name one section “Mysterious Ways.” Then if someone came in asking for an employee I could say, “You’re looking for who? Oh, he works in Mysterious Ways.”

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