The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Attn: Ellen (5/15/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Washington D.C.

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

If my life was a soccer game on a Spanish-speaking channel, last night there would’ve been one of those at-first-funny-but-then-annoying 5 minute long “goaaaal!” announcements.

Why? Because I’m done with my Master’s*!

*If it turns out I failed my final, that would be an own goal announcement.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Miami Heat’s Chris Anderson

“Hey, I’m Dennis … And I don’t normally say this, but you’re one good looking stegosaurus.”

chris anderson's mom

“Hey, I’m Lisa, and … That might be the nicest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Chris Anderson's Dad

“You want to go back to my … ‘cave’?”

Chris Anderson's Mom

“No … let’s go back to mine!”

Nine Months Later (or Whatever)

 

Miami Heat Chris Anderson

“Our beautiful son Chris Anderson is born!!”

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Du Jour of the Week

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Fortune Cookies, Revisited

Fortunes:

  • Shhhh. This moment is for us.
  • Fortune will smile on you. Like a baby’s smile. Yeah, a gassy baby’s smile.
  • You smell really good when you think you’re alone.
  • Dale! It was Dale!? That is classic.
  • NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN YOU JUST ATE MY HOME!
  • Am I the only one who is concerned that Mickey Mouse is an axe murderer? We can’t just let him … sweep … that murder under the rug.

Ok, well, that’s all I’ve got! Come back later when my future self is more ambitious than my present self and actually makes some fortune cookies! I will record the endeavor and put the shenanigans on the internet!

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Du Jour of the Week

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