You know what? The next time someone around you is coughing a lot you should look at them like they’re nuts and then when the coughing fit stops say, “you must have a lot of caffeine in your body!” and when they look at you like you’re nuts that’s when you deliver the news, “because you’re so cough-y.” You’ll probably have to laugh a lot because I bet they won’t.
Cough-y. Coffee. Get it?!
I can imagine a future where humans and wolves live side-by-side. Not unlike in cartoons or the foxes in Fantastic Mr. Fox, the wolves would dress appropriate to their occupation or current activity.
The wolves would have broken with their old habits and would not kill humans if threatened or hunt in the woods for survival (they might, like some humans, happen to enjoy hunting).
At schools, churches, bad local theatre productions, you would see human and wolf, side-by-side, co-workers, chums, friendly rivals, aggrieved neighbors, each just doing their thing.
But there is one thing the wolves could never leave behind despite their evolutionary leap. Any time you fly, and I mean ANY TIME, you’ll be standing there (you as a human) and there will be a wolf next to you in line, both of you waiting to get boarding passes. And suddenly you think you’ll hear the little yip of a toddler wolf and the wolf next to you in line will kick its pack gently and then look at you with an embarrassed smile and say, “I’ve got some bags of chips in there … Rustling around and such.” Sure, wolf, you’ll think to yourself, sure.
Later when you get to security you’ll keep your eyes peeled for your wolf pal to see if anything interesting happens. And there it is, the wolf, talking with a security person, the security person unzipping the wolves bag and sure enough, two young wolves are inside looking around, happy to no longer be in an enclosed space.
And the wolf, pleading with the security office can be heard to say, “but I can’t go anywhere without my wolf pack!”
Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is
Dear Ellen, / Dear Summer Intern,
Hopefully I didn’t miss you (aka you’ve already headed back to school). How was your summer of sorting through Ellen’s fan mail (like my crazy postcards!)? Did you dance across the studio and Instagram pictures of it? Good luck at school this year! (and tell all your friends to check out my blog!!)
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery
DumbFunnery 