The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘intern’

Attn: Ellen (8/26/15)


Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen, / Dear Summer Intern,

Hopefully I didn’t miss you (aka you’ve already headed back to school). How was your summer of sorting through Ellen’s fan mail (like my crazy postcards!)? Did you dance across the studio and Instagram pictures of it? Good luck at school this year! (and tell all your friends to check out my blog!!)

Sincerely, OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Corporate Brad Announcement

This past week I had a breakthrough event in the life of my corporate mind: I was an a-hole to an intern. Sorta.

The area where my co-workers and I work is going to be moving into a smaller space so people need to take a good look at any and all papers they have. Some co-workers even have filing cabinets worth of papers. And in some common areas there are filing cabinets. I was standing in a common area looking at one with another co-worker when I said, “aren’t the interns back? Can’t we just have one of them scan all this just in case before recycling it?”

Wait – WHAT?! Did I just casually say ‘make the interns do the work everyone hates?’ And not just assigning work to interns because it’s boring stuff, but assigning it to faceless interns because I haven’t met any of them. (One summer my friends and I befriended the interns and tried to be nice to them. At the time I thought ‘am I a weird older guy trying to be cool in front of young people?’ This summer I haven’t even bothered introducing myself to the interns because I’m afraid they would look at me and think ‘ew, why’s that old dude talking to us. Did he just make a joke about how he used to play with a ‘yolo’ but could never figure out how to walk the dog? Was it even a joke? Or does he think yo-yos are called yolos? Ugh. Let’s leave.’)

Anywho … There you have it. Continuing my slow march toward being 100% corporate entity. Say, have you checked out those benefits, boy, and how about this weather, oh what’s that, sure sure the corner office. (Psst. That’s my example of being 100% corporate.)


Want the history of “Corporate Brad?” Sure, have at it …

Weekly Wacko (62)

Say, How’s Your God Doing?

A little while back I wrote about an experience I had as an intern where I learned I was less valued than a paperweight.

This is a happier internship story from the same place.

The same summer I started interning there, two guys were hired. One, Sukru from the previously mentioned story. Two, Prasad. Sukru was from Turkey and had just gotten either a PhD or Masters, Prasad from India (“south central India” – he said this to me and I almost laughed in his face, I wanted to shout, “south central in the HOUSE!” because I’m white). Prasad also had a big fancy-pants degree.

Prasad came to work for a little while, and he got himself somewhat acquainted with everything, but he had a trip planned to go back home to India. After a brief while of having him around he was off. A few weeks (felt like millennia) later he returned.


He brought back with him sweets from India. He went cube-to-cube saying, “sweets from India?” and holding a box of foodstuffs at people. It was adorable and scary. I grabbed something, said thanks, and then forced myself to eat it because he was going to stand there until I tried it.

“Mmmm,” I said at 8:00 am to this incredibly sweet bread-like thing, “yum.”

The BEST part of his return was a conversation I overheard. Except for the odd influx of Prasad and Sukru, the company was very whitebread. And oldish.

Oldish whitebread guy: Hey Prasad! Welcome back!
Prasad: Oh, thank you.
Oldish whitebread guy: You got a haircut!
Prasad: I cut off my hair as a sacrifice to my god.
Oldish whitebread guy: ……….Oh.


Watch for a future video where I do my impression of Prasad, who was impressively nervous over the smallest things.

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