New Orleans
Posts tagged ‘dumbfunnery’
Lies I Readily Tell My Dentist
Dentist: Oh it’s great to see you, how are you!?
Me: (Un-intelligable noise meaning great to see you too!)
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Dentist: Boy this weather lately sure is great, huh!
Me: (Frightened noise because someone this peppy holding a sharp metal instrument in my mouth is scary.)
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Dentist: You don’t mind if I talk about weird personal problems with the hygienist do you?
Me: (Weird open-mouthed noise indicating … well, actually, I do kind of find this one interesting. They never ask, they just do it.)
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Dentist: Oh I love this song! This radio station is great!
Me: (Weird open-mouthed noise indicating oh yeah, I love this easy-listening-please-none-offend-none radio station!)
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Check out Lies I Readily Tell to Salespeople
My Zombie Roomy (1/19/12)
Before I left to go home for Christmas and New Year’s the Zombie and I made a list of sorts of New Year’s resolutions for he and I both to work on. We did this after the gift exchange.
(Which I guess went well? He got me a crappy watch with blood stains on it, and he really wanted me to try it on, so I had to pretend to hurt my wrist. Later I cleaned it up some, which then made me wonder if I was tampering with evidence, but he can be like a little kid and get so sad if he feels like you don’t appreciate something so I figured a cop would understand why I did what I did. Also I was really drunk which probably hampered my thinking.)
I was gone for about a week, and then since I got back I’ve been pretty busy so I guess he got upset? I don’t know. But here’s the New Year’s Resolution list the day we made it …
And here it is earlier today, when I finally noticed it.
Maybe that’s his way of saying he needs to eat better? Or a call for help? Or anger? And where did he get that cookie? And how was the cookie so burnt on the bottom but just right on top? Oh yeah, I ate it. Should I not have? So many questions, so few cookies. What’s the world coming to?
DumbFunnery 