The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (5/18/16)

Front

Ellen261a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen261b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I can almost picture the day the Grand Canyon was named. Someone said, “how about the Grand Canyon?” and everyone else said, “yeah … that’s not … bad … I guess.” And then the naming deadline day came and the person in charge said confidently, “all right, sure, that’ll do, whatever.”

History!!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (5/4/16)

Front

Ellen260a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen260b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

It’s playoff hockey time! The time of year when the people ask: can someone be shy a few teeth, have a beard that birds live in, and look like someone who could spend a few hours staring at foil because it’s shiny … AND be attractive?

And somehow the answer is always yes.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (4/27/16)

Front

Ellen259a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen259b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Currently our nation is struggling with the following quiz. Public bathrooms cause concern because:

A) The smell
B) That small urine-based creek with tributaries and everything
C) No soap!!
D) All of the above

But a number of people are writing in (E) and then their personal definition of being transgendered. Hello people, soap is important!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?