The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (6/4/14)

Front

Ellen173a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen173b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Do you agree with my graph?

(You really expect me to type out a graph?)

(1) Social norms kick in and you stop playing with toys because it’s “little kid stuff.”

(2) You have kids (possible); Friends have kids

(3) Grandkids

(4) I project my love of toys to grow as I gain financial freedom and having kids as an excuse to buy more.

From: DumbFunnery.com or @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (5/28/14)

Front

Ellen172a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen172b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Here we see Chewbacca in one of his most terrifying adventures – the one where the Empire captures him, gives him a whole body perm, and he walks around looking like a human poodle. Oh cruel Empire, have you no heart!?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (5/21/14)

Front

Ellen171a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen171b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

While some may see this as kitschy romance, I choose to see it as a threat.

‘My dearest,

You neglected to tell me your parents would be visiting while you are on business travel. Hmm.

Love stinks,
The spouse’

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?