The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘chewbacca’

What to Inspect When You’re Inspecting

Having owned my own house for about a year now I can tell you with confidence that I don’t know what I’m doing.

At any moment a pipe could burst, the dryer could leak acid, the backyard could explode into flames, and I’d think to myself, ‘ah, well, I guess that’s normal.’

One key thing is to seem relaxed and confident while dealing with the issue. Put on your least attractive jeans, an old t-shirt with pit stains that somehow reach down to your navel, and a tool belt (if you don’t have one, an ice cream bar is equally good). Then call in someone who knows what they’re doing and offer advice over their shoulder while you pay them gobs of money per hour.

  • “Ah, there’s the problem, my rotator belt is shot,” you might say while the person looks at your breaker box.
  • “Oh ho, looks like Christmas came twice this year!” you could mutter while the person explains that your air ducts are so full of hair there is essentially a dead Chewbacca in your vents.
  • Maybe you prefer nonverbal communication? Try picking your nose and laughing maniacally while the person explains that putting your Nest thermostat in the microwave is not a cheaper way to heat up the house.
  • Try a joke to lighten the mood, “my refrigerator isn’t running, but it has started daily walks to lose some weight,” and then nod in complete agreement as the fire deputy explains why indoor bonfires are bad ideas.

As always, we here at DumbFunnery are just offering our opinion and do not necessarily even bathe more than once a week. Got to go now, the cat is dying for a staring contest.

Attn: Ellen (3/23/16)

Front

Ellen254a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen254b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I think the creator of the big Chewbacca toy, we’ll call her Susie, had an assignment to make this toy. She spent 3 days on his feet and legs, a day and a half on his chest, arms, and bandoleer … And 15 minutes on that weird, unsettling, creepy head.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. Don’t even get me started on poor mini-Bacca.

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (5/28/14)

Front

Ellen172a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen172b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Here we see Chewbacca in one of his most terrifying adventures – the one where the Empire captures him, gives him a whole body perm, and he walks around looking like a human poodle. Oh cruel Empire, have you no heart!?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (2/16/11)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

I changed my blog name from: GetBradStanleyPublished.com

to: DumbFunnery.com

Hopefully, like Chewbacca, you will be shocked and then smugly content with this news.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

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