The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fanmail’

Attn: Ellen (6/6/12)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

My book club is reading 50 Shades of Grey. I had heard about it, and watched the video of you “reading” it – and I thought it would be entertaining.

Instead, it makes me feel as awkward as this postcard makes me feel.

Yikes, … just … yikes …

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Attn: Ellen (5/23/12)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This weekend I’m heading to Arizona to see my family.

Hopefully the quality of this postcard is no indication of the quality of the trip home. On the other hand, I wish I had a stamp of this guy. I’d use that stamp all the time.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I sending these postcards?

Attn: Ellen (5/16/12)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I’m getting back into working out now. I had to take a break after the MS150.

Sometimes I think the best part of being a super hero would be that you’d always be fit. Form-fitting colorful spandex should clearly be limited to fat cats and super heroes.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. Actually I just thought of a great idea! If you want to be a good actor/actress – perform your role in spandex first. If you can “emote” in spandex, you can do anything.

Why am I sending these postcards?