The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Awkward’

Wikipedia Joke Guy

I decided on an identity for myself for classes. Is it too late? Let’s hope not, because it’s a gem of an identity.

I will be! … Wikipedia Joke Guy!

Here’s how it will work …

Professor: Well on this slide there are only nine things in the Common Body of Knowledge but … I thought there were ten …
(A minute later)
Me: Uh, professor … I just looked it up on Wikipedia. There are ten, I think you’re missing the “Operations Security” part and also, according to Wikipedia, Tommy Harris is a big stink face.

Aren’t I zany!? You see, anyone can update Wikipedia, so … I’m pretending that some random little kid … Um, you know … Went on Wikipedia and wrote … that … So … Sorry, keep going, Professor.

I have a feeling that would be the follow-up comment to my joke. There would probably be a few people in class who would get my joke, and the joke would maybe even get a smirk or two, but everyone would let me sit there in my joke explanation pain.

But would that stop me? Hardly.

Boss: Well I’m not sure when the Agile methodology actually started …
Me: According to Wikipedia it started in 2001, and also dinosaurs are a ploy by the government to distract us from the fact that Lasik is an experiment in mind control.

Cue the crickets, and the awkward joke explanation talk.

Questions NOT to Ask Before a First Date

“Do you have, like, a really good sense of smell?”

“How much do you worry about safety?”

“Do you talk with your friends a lot? Family? Basically, I’m just curious who knows about this date … Does anyone know that we’re going to meet up?”

“If you went on a first date with a guy and it went awesome, everything clicked, there was attraction … all that stuff!, but then it turns out he was married – would that bother you?”

“Do you like guys with cats?” (Have I talked about this already, maybe …)

“Hit and run is such a vague thing … like, seriously, answer me, what constitutes a ‘hit’?”

“Are you wearing your pink coat?, because I don’t really like that one.”

Attn: Ellen (6/6/12)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

My book club is reading 50 Shades of Grey. I had heard about it, and watched the video of you “reading” it – and I thought it would be entertaining.

Instead, it makes me feel as awkward as this postcard makes me feel.

Yikes, … just … yikes …

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

%d bloggers like this: