The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fantail’

Attn: Ellen (3/13/13)

FrontEllen DeGeneres Postcard


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres Postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Tomorrow I depart for SxSW (South by Southwest)! Land of “woah that guy looks so dumb with that mustache and those ridiculous cut-off jeans shorts and that hideous sequined women’s shirt and those Crocs and … he’s going up on stage! … oh, wait, he’s the lead singer of the Yao Minglings?”

That band name I just made up, but based on their name I’m not cool enough to play for them.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (3/6/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres castle

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Could you settle a debate I’m having with myself? Part of me thinks if I owned a castle naming that castle Storm would be cool. “What’s your castle’s name?,” someone on the brink of hilarity would ask, “Storm the Castle?,” I’d yell in gleeful answer.

The other part of me thinks this is one of the dumber thoughts I’ve had.

Get back to me on this when you can, please!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Attn: Ellen (2/27/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres impressionist

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

You know what I should do more often? Come up with cool new names for people, and introduce them with the phrase, “Hey [name], can I call you [nickname]?”

Let’s try it: Hey Ellen, can I call you Ellentil? You’re like a cool soup lady with that nickname!

I’ll assume yes until I hear from you. Try me on Twitter! @DumbFunnery

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

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