The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘football’

2014 SMU Football

Well, well, well friends – football is back. And with it, my well-informed and well-biased opinion of how SMU will do this year.

In 2011 I predicted 8-4 but instead SMU went 7-5. One game off? What a pro, am I right?

2012 you’d think I would have improved but nope, predicted 8-4 but in reality SMU went 6-6. I don’t think that’s my fault though, that sounds more like SMU should’ve just won 2 games more.

2013 I recovered well … but it didn’t warm the heart because I predicted 5-7 and was dead on.

Last year was SMU’s first year in a new conference, the American Athletic Conference (formerly known as the Big East). The expectations for SMU were low and 5-7 might actually be considered a success by some (though it’s hard to look at a losing season and see it as good). This year SMU should come in a little bit better, but they’re missing last year’s starting QB.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted last year’s QB is gone. Oh boy am I ever glad. But will the next guy be better? Eh.

Without further ado …

8/31    at Baylor    Loss

9/6    at North Texas    Win

9/20    vs Texas A&M    Loss

9/27    vs TCU    Win (on a whim and a prayer)

10/4    at East Carolina    Win

10/18    vs Cincinnati    Loss (apparently they’re going to be the hot shots)

10/25    vs Memphis    Win

11/8    at Tulsa    Win

11/15    vs USF (Homecoming)    Win

11/22    at UCF    Loss

11/28    vs Houston    Loss

12/6    at Connecticut    Win

 

Total Record: 7-5

Honestly I have no idea how they’re going to do. But in the past that hasn’t stopped me from making predictions …

On that high note, here’s to football!

Which Sport is Best?

It’s impossible to say which sport is best because it’s a purely subjective matter. But here’s one thing we can all agree on – attractiveness. With that in mind, it’s easy to determine which sport is best by an attractive representative from each sport.

I looked for countless hours at the most attractive athletes from soccer, football, and baseball and found that the sports come to a surprising draw with not a single attractive athlete. I know, I’m surprised too. From there I went to the next obvious choice: the referees.

 

Pierluigi Collina – Soccer

Soccer Referee

Pierluidi’s calling you out … for a candle-lit dinner.

Gene Steratore – NFL

NFL Referee

Gene wants you to know he’d never call you encroachment on your sexual advances.

 

Jim Joyce – Baseball

Baseball Referee

Jim caught a look in the mirror … Obviously, what he saw was jaw-dropping.

Now that you’ve seen a representative referee for these sports you will undoubtedly come to the same conclusion as myself: we, the fans, are the winners because we get to witness them in action every game.

Attn: Ellen (2/5/14)

Front

Ellen156a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 Ellen156b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I think the most underrated part of football is this: on Mondays when a co-worker says, “how was your weekend?” I can say, “oh pretty good, hung out, watched some football” and that is perfectly acceptable.

When there is is no football I have to think, and I come across perhaps a tad pathetic, “oh pretty good, hung out … I remember looking at the clock Saturday at 3 pm and being surprised it was so late and … Now … I’m here. How was your weekend?”

Goodbye, sweet football, I will miss your go to answer to disguise my delightfully void weekends.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?