The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fun’

Attn: Ellen (2/5/14)

Front

Ellen156a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 Ellen156b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I think the most underrated part of football is this: on Mondays when a co-worker says, “how was your weekend?” I can say, “oh pretty good, hung out, watched some football” and that is perfectly acceptable.

When there is is no football I have to think, and I come across perhaps a tad pathetic, “oh pretty good, hung out … I remember looking at the clock Saturday at 3 pm and being surprised it was so late and … Now … I’m here. How was your weekend?”

Goodbye, sweet football, I will miss your go to answer to disguise my delightfully void weekends.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Keys to Successfully Watching the Super Bowl

If you are an NFL fan then by now you have heard all about Peyton Manning, Richard Sherman and Bob Barker.

Can Peyton legitimize his legacy by winning a second Super Bowl, moving his record in the big game from 1-1 to 2-1?

Can Richard Sherman back up his big words with big play? Can people forgive a braggart, or will on the fence fans cheer for Peyton because they don’t like a big mouth?

Will Bob Barker’s veiled, cryptic words on the last episode of “The Price is Right” that he appeared on be correct?

These questions will only be answered at the Super Bowl!

Grab some popcorn, chat with your friends (but during this game you chat DURING the game, not during commercials), and enjoy what happens!

****

Pssst. In high school I had to read The Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. The next step was obvious – I had to write a paper on the book. I turned to the internet for help and one of the sites I found was incredible.

I looked up the book trying to find out the themes, motifs, the usual “beyond the words” kind of meanings that somehow English professors/teachers find so obvious but that always escape me. The site I found had exactly what I was looking for … except the author of the site was playing a practical joke.

The site described enough of the book accurately to convince lazy students that it was legitimate, but the site also contained a bunch of made up nonsense. It was one of the funniest things I’d ever read.

I could just see a student handing in a paper confidently, only to get back an F with a note, “there were no unicorns in The Heart of Darkness. The next time you try and fake a paper, at least look up the synopsis from a credible source.”

I didn’t want to actually have people thinking that Bob Barker had some cryptic message years ago that was somehow tied to this game (would you have really believed that?) … But maybe some future post I’ll do that.

Attn: Ellen (1/29/14)

Front

Ellen155a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 Ellen155b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I feel like creativity can be like rain. Sometimes you’re so flooded something as routine as washing your hands can inspire some odd thought and laughter.

Other times you are suffering in a drought, wondering when it will rain again.

If this is the case, I think I’m on a brief trip to the desert, but I’m a wandering type, so it should be ok.

Meanwhile your brain must live in Seattle.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?