The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fun’

My Zombie Roomy (1/21/13)

Remember Paul the Octopus? Or, to use the phrase I used to look up his name on Google, ‘octopus world cup.’ He ‘predicted’ the winners of a bunch of world cup games because he was presented with two boxes of food, each had a flag on it, and whichever box of food he went for first was the winner. And the octopus happened to be right  twelve out of fourteen times. Nuts, right?

Well, I think the Zombie was having a Paul the Octopus thing going on when I discovered, late Saturday night, the dismembered arm of a man who had been wearing an Atlanta Falcons jersey AND a bloodied piece of a New England Patriots jersey.

Crazier things have happened – like, you know, having a zombie for a roommate – so I decided to go for it. I called a friend who likes friendly wager’s and asked if he’d be down for one for the afternoon game. I bet on the 49ers and the Ravens to win, twenty bucks for each game.

Unfortunately, I later discovered bits of jersey from a Seahawks fan, a Chiefs fan, a 49ers fan and a Ravens fan. Apparently the Zombie stumbled on a football watching party and went to town.

That’s an awful lot of people though, so I am afraid the Zombie either was killing for sport (NOT good) or he’s made a bunch of friends (even worse).

On the plus side I made 40 bucks!

Attn: Ellen (1/16/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Ninja

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

When you watch movies about spies, or ninjas, or secret agents – do you think it would be cool if you could be one? I do, too.

One thing those folks and I have in common? We’re very meticulous when it comes to folding laundry.

It’s the subtle skills of spies like laundry-folding that go under-appreciated.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Attn: Ellen (1/9/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres Postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

For Christmas I bought myself a box of postcard from McSweeney’s! The nice thing was I had forgotten about this so it was a sort of “Christmas Miracle” when I saw these things.

Here’s hoping 2013 will have many bad memory inspired miracles for me, you, and everyone!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. Have I done my homework? Beats me! Weeeeee! What fun!!

Why am I doing this?