The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fun’

How Girl Talk Started

Gregg was walking home from school. He was distraught.

He had asked out a girl he liked and she had laughed at him. It wasn’t deliberate. She honestly thought he was joking. He couldn’t decide if that made it worse. If she had laughed in his face to be cruel, well, then he could be angry at her. But she laughed because she thought he was joking. The very idea of them going out was funny. Was he really that big of a loser in everyone’s eyes?

I need to find my mark, he thought to himself. I need something. She’s the best actress in the school. That a-hole friend of hers who laughed to be mean is the best soccer player. My best friend is crazy smart.

What am I? I’m nothing. I’ve got nothing. I need to have SOMETHING.

He realized he’d been standing at the sign for a while, the little white figure telling him it’s ok to walk. He self-consciously hurried across the street, not sure how long the ‘walk now’ sign had been there. Then he realized it may have just turned, so he was hurrying across the street for no reason, and felt more self-conscious than he already had.

He got to the sidewalk and hit the button to get the light to walk across the next street. Two cars were waiting at the red light. In the first car, a young, pretty girl was blasting a Madonna song, Material Girl.

In the second car an old man, apparently hard of hearing, was blaring talk radio.

Unexpectedly, Gregg’s move improved. The combination of Rush Limbaugh with Madonna was hysterical to him. ‘Girl Talk’ he thought to himself, imagining a combination of the two in some weird, ‘do we dance to this, or do we laugh’ mashup of the genres.

Suddenly, Gregg’s self-consciousness was gone. Thoughts of his rejection were dropped. His newfound passion consumed him. Run DMC with Johnny Cash? Why not, it could work. LL Cool J with a medley of a Dick Clark’s greatest hits mix? Sure.

Creativity, the panacea of the neurotic nerd.

Haven’t heard of Girl Talk? He does mash ups. Careful, there’s cursing.

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Short Short Stories

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If I Owned a Christmas Tree Store

What’s the most important step in owning any store? (And by most important I mean most fun.) Naming the store!

If I happened to sell Christmas trees, here are some potential names:

  • Tree-diculous
  • If You Don’t Shop Here That’s Tree-Son
  • Tree-t Yo Self
  • The doctor Called, You’re Going Into Tree-Mission!
  • Don’t Just Pine About It
  • Step Aside Vegetarians and Omnivores! – I’m Coniferous
  • Your Windows Pine to be Noticed

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Du Jour of the Week

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A Plea to My Friends

You know what is really unlikely? Super heroes. I just can’t imagine that there are people out there who can fly, or who have super strength, or can make stuff explosive just by having a Cajun accent.

But as unlikely as it is that there are super heroes, it’s even MORE unlikely that someone who is a best friend of mine is a super hero, and willing to tell me. Because you know what? Those super heroes are really protective of their identities. They struggle to decide if telling their best friend or romantic interest is a good idea. It could endanger the person they confide, it could endanger the super him or herself. Really, it’s a tough decision.

Beyond those in my group of friends – maybe there’s a shy super hero out there doing some cool stuff and he/she is keeping it on the down low to avoid detection.

Guess what though, folks. I know someone who is really good at keeping a secret. That someone is me.

Go ahead, email me, call me (if you have my number – or maybe one of your powers is an ability to sense people’s phone numbers – I don’t know). Lay it on me.

“Hey … got a minute?”
“Sure, what’s up? / Long time no talk! / Who is this? / How did you appear in my bedroom, and why are you wearing a skin tight outfit?”

Look at that. Look at how I am there, for you, my super hero friend. Lay it on me. So please, friends, I beg of you, I am pleading!, feel free to confide in me. It’d be super cool.

Unrelated side note: If you want to call me and you pretend to be a super hero but then just talk about emotions I’ll be really annoyed.

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Du Jour of the Week

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