The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘humor’

To My Girl, With Adoration (and Corrections)

It’s hard to believe, seven years ago was our first date
(Not to be nit-picky, but it was actually eight)
I bought you dinner, and you bought us ice cream for dessert
(It was actually some frozen yogurt)

We went on a walk, enjoying the beautiful weather
(It was so cold I had to borrow your sweater)
You looked so cute in that flower-print dress
(Is your memory under some form of duress?)

You have the most beautiful blueish-green eyes I’ve ever seen
(Define what you mean by ‘blueish-green’?)
I hope our daughter has your beautiful brown locks
(It’s light chestnut! … Not to get on my color-wheel soapbox)

You always smell like lilacs, lavender or Ungaro
(You’re just saying the fancy smell-words you know)
I made you this CD, it has our old song
(It’ll be fun to see how you got that one wrong)

I just want you to know how much you mean to me
(I like you and your bad memory)
Even as I get older and my mind starts to fade
(I will be your memory maid)
I’ll always know how much you mean to me

Category:

Du Jour of the Week

Tagged with:

Attn: Ellen (4/17/13)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres fox

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres Wyoming

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

This is the town Going, Wyoming. It’s a nice town but it’s got its problems, like any place.

For example, the church caught on fire and the real fire truck was in the shop so the chief sent the back up, called “adora-bwee-oooh-bwee-oooh.” It’s bad at putting out fires, but it’s a great conversation-starter.

Oh, and the giant, smug fox can be off-putting. The townspeople just pretend he’s not there.

I give the town a solid B!

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I doing this?

Category:

Attn: Ellen

Tagged with:

Image

Canadian Rock Concert

Canada Rock Concert

Written

on April 15, 2013