The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘humor’

My Zombie Roomy (6/21/12)

I had a fantastic laugh today. I think my neighbor thought I was crazy. I opened the door and BOOM, laughter. Actually, the neighbors probably already think I’m crazy.

Anyhow. Here’s what I saw:

The Zombie, watching this video, mimicking it. Laughing/gargling (you grow to like it), and then hitting the replay button.

I had left my computer on, which I generally never do … but there was some software update going on and I left for work with that going. The down side is the keyboard is kinda bloody now, which will make things awkward when I go do the artsy thing and take my laptop to a coffee shop …

I haven’t decided yet if the laugh was worth the gross keyboard, but I’m leaning towards yes.

Oh and I’m also very afraid to look at the history to see what else he was watching before this. Yikes.

Attn: Ellen (6/20/12)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I’m in D.C.! My friend Airplanes has joined me for this trip. She, get ready for a shock, loves airplanes. Before I travel she tells me an “interesting” fact about airplanes. One day I explained to her how it works, it’s a little something like this:

(see obnoxious drawing above)

She finds me to be annoying.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Why am I sending these postcards?

Starting the Day off Creepy

It was a day like any other. I woke up, hit snooze a few times, and then reluctantly got out of bed. The earlier I start work, the earlier I’m back with my best friend – my couch. But something felt different today, something I just couldn’t identify.

Nevertheless, I got up. I began my morning routing – a bowl of cereal while I watch the local NBC news. For local news, bad jokes, and attractive anchors – go to Local 2 News! Jennifer Reyna, the traffic girl who could make traffic stop with her good looks, was talking about an accident or really clear lanes or whatever it was, she’s too pretty for me to notice.

I thought, “maybe I should tweet that I like kicking off my mornings with Miss (hopefully Miss) Reyna.” But then I realized that would be boring. I thought of a bad joke, “Folgers? Who needs that when you’ve got Reyna.” But no, that was a really bad joke. I wouldn’t do that. But the idea had entered my head … Twitter … Jennifer Reyna … Me …

I had to know! I signed on my computer and searched for her name – what’s this! There IS a Jennifer Reyna on Twitter! I look at the brief description that every Twitter user can create, and this didn’t seem like the standard PR-created byline for a semi-celebrity user of Twitter. The byline said,

“Dedicated to the traffic hottie Jennifer Reyna on Houston’s KPRC Local 2.”

Could it be … Could it be that there are other creepy guys out there who like Jennifer Reyna?! And could it be that one of them is so creepy he has created a Twitter account where he, every day, posts a picture of Jennifer (dear, sweet Jennifer), describes her outfit, and RATES it!?

http://twitter.com/ratereyna

Yes, I would say there are other creepy guys out there …

“Did I mention that Jen’s secret power is the ability to make brown look good? It’s freaky! Rating: 9.5”