The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘roommate’

My Zombie Roomy (6/10/11)

I noticed something, which led me to realize something I hadn’t noticed at all. Pretty deep, right?

Here’s what I noticed: the Zombie checking himself out in the mirror.

Here’s what I realized I hadn’t noticed: the Zombie has never once looked at himself in the mirror.

I think I’d never noticed the lack of mirror-visits because I didn’t expect the Zombie to care how he looked. Zombies have just never struck me as being too image-conscious. And yet, the amount of dried blood on him never seems to vary much. It’s like how I have a beard trimmer so I don’t have to do a clean shave – he maybe has some blood thing where he’s got the blood equivalent of stubble.

I don’t know where he his on a scale of 1 to 10 in the undead world, but that look on his face when he was looking at the mirror? I think I may need to try and cheer him up. Time to start casually adding a compliment after I yell at him not to drink straight out of the bottle of Febreeze.

“Zombie I told you – pour the Febreeze in your cup first! Also … you look nice today.”

Hm. Better keep working on it. How would you casually compliment a zombie?

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My Zombie Roomy

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My Zombie Roomy (5/24/11)

Well, it’s been an interesting last few days with the Zombie. I don’t know where he learned this, but he’s started doing the ‘wink, wink, nudge, nudge’ thing to me.

At first, it was hysterical. I cracked up a ton and I figured he kept doing it randomly because it was getting such a reaction from me.

I was wrong. It turns out he just does it randomly. You would think this would be comedy gold, but it’s not. I think he’s picked up maybe a third of the objects in my house and done the wink/nudge thing with them. I have no idea what you’re implying Zombie and neither do they, because they’re inanimate.

Oh wait … I maybe take it back. He just picked up a Lego man that is a gorilla and did that and I find this strangely hysterical.

(Don’t get the wink wink, nudge nudge? Check out this excellent guide.)

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My Zombie Roomy (2/24/11)

A few days ago I wrote about how I thought the Zombie maybe killed my friend Amy? Well, turns out I was wrong.

You see, Amy sells Lush stuff which is fancy, pretty-smelling stuff.

At first, because the Zombie smelled good, I assumed he killed Amy and accidentally ate some soap. But then, when Amy called and yelled at me to pay for all the soap the Zombie ate – that’s when I knew Amy was still alive.

And feisty.

And Lush stuff is expensive. I’ve got the Zombie drooling into my bathtub right now because he apparently ate four bath bombs. I know it’s disgusting, but I’m cheap, and I’m going to get my money’s worth from these bath bombs one way or another.

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